


pacifist route

by C_Lilith



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Death, F/M, Friendship, Romance, Slow Romance, Violence, and i can't tag, it's experimental, lazyness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-09-16 21:09:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 25,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9289700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/C_Lilith/pseuds/C_Lilith
Summary: —	An underfell storyI don’t quite remember what made me climb the Mt Ebott in the beginning, I think it happened almost a year ago from this exact moment, but not really at the same time, on the actual timeline it was a bit more than 2 months now. I'm sleeping in Sans sentry station, he’s with me, with a visible crack on his skull. I wish I could do more for him, even after all he did me a in the beginning, now he’s almost all I have, and Flowey, or Asriel.But, let me start it right.





	1. flowers

**Author's Note:**

> Underfell is an AU from the game Undertale - all rights reserved (and the oficial blog seems to be offline)

It was a simple misstep that made me fall inside a hole at almost the top of Mt. Ebott, and I landed hard on the ground, as I recovered I noticed my fall was softened by a golden-flower bed, it could’ve been worse I think, but I had a broken arm anyways. I came from a village a little far from this Mt, but right now... I think I had nothing to lose when I left, life wasn’t good, wasn’t bad at the same time. The bed of flowers was blooming just in the spot where sunlight could make its way down. It was a huge fall, now I consider how I am even alive, as I stand up.

I noticed a path and walked to the next room, through a passage with a pillar entrance, the way there was constructions down here made my heart pound, simply because I never thought about people living in the mountain before, I wonder if any other human ever saw this before... and I saw another flower, golden like the other ones where I fell, but this one was hurt and dying out of the sun, I approached, maybe I could move it with the others, so it could bloom and improve, but then it turned to me... The flower turned... And had a face...

 

—DON’T TOUCH ME! — it screamed a little panicked, making me gasp.

 

It seemed scared somehow, but angry at the same time. I heard there were monsters under this Mt, but I thought it were just stories they tell so the kids don’t go too far in the forest, also I never thought monsters looked like flowers with faces. I made a step back as the flower got tranquilized and analysed me, like I was some sort of weirdness in his world. That would make sense, I must be a monster in his eyes too, now I think if any of the other flowers were monsters too, and if I hurt them when I fell.

 

—I'm sorry — I said — I'm Frisk.

—You’re... a human right? — I nodded — oh girl you shouldn’t be here, they just need one more, you’ll be dead! — I did not understand, and he seemed to see it — there is a barrier keeping all monsters trapped here, and they need 7 human souls to break it, you’re the last one they need! You have to go back.

—I... don’t think I can — I explained, as I hold my arm closer.

 

I don’t know how, but I wasn’t scared.

 

—Oh... You can’t go back through the hole too, what was I thinking? I'm sorry, it’s too tall. — the flower told, more to itself, as it analysed my arm — we need to get you through the ruins and then the underground, not like I think we can actually do it... if we get lucky you may have a chance, but first we have to fix your arm... follow me, the whole underground is full of puzzles that’ll try to kill you¸ I’ll help you as much as I can.

—Thanks — I said, and the flower looked a bit warmed as it tried to smile, but I could see it was in fact really worried about the journey we were about to make — and what is your name? — I asked.

—My... name? — it asked, more for itself — As-... Flo...wey... Flowey, the Flower.

—Nice to meet you, Flowey — I replied.

 

He tried to smile, I now think he barely had to smile before, I appreciate that he tried, though. We’ve passed for a room with a couple buttons and switches when we found a table with a cheese, the cheese was old and melted, and it was stuck to the table, the irony was that there was also a mouse hole beside it, I giggled at it. The uncommon part was that there were a _star_ there, and Flowey didn’t seem to notice it. I touched it as I thought about the mouse maybe showing up to get that cheese, I heard the sound “ _SAVE_ ” as the star blinked around my hands, I was filled with _determination_ , and my arm and all my small injuries got fixed.

 

—Well — Flowey said as he looked at me — that’s... unexpected ... and really good.

 

He then realized me looking at ragged backpack on the corner.

 

—Oh, that must have belonged to one of the other humans as the years passed by. He’s probably dead by now — I kept silent — but we could... — he vanished inside the soil and reappeared next to the backpack, I got closer — You could carry me... I think it would make both our lives easier.

—Will you be okay out of the soil?

—Of course! I'm a monster, not just a regular flower — that made me giggle, but my mind was still lost in another thing he said.

—What did you mean by... _dead by now_? — Flowey stared me.

—Frisk... Monsters are dying for a soul like yours right now, a human soul, a _powerful_ soul, that’s the last thing we need so the worst creatures you can ever think will be free from this wasted land. They will try to kill you, as much as they tried, and succeed, with every other human that had the infortune of falling that miserable hole, and you’ll have to fight back.

 

I kept silent, trying to absorb all that information, as I put him inside the backpack and carried it — I just got here, and my head is at a prize... and I would not fight back, I know I could never do such thing, I hope Flowey will understand it. We passed through a couple puzzles until we found my second monster, and it tried to attack me instantly, I dodged the attack as I heard Flowey telling me to fight... but I couldn’t. The monster already seemed twisted and in pain... and I do believe everyone on the earth, our below earth, deserved some  _MERCY._

It took me some time until the monster felt frustrated and let me pass — it looked like a frog though, I’ll remember that, monsters probably comes in all shapes and sizes.

 

—You won’t have this time and lucky forever Frisk, the underground rule is “ _it’s kill or be killed”_ , you will need to fight back.

—I won’t — I said — I won’t fight back.

—Frisk it’s-

—Everyone has a soft spot, an inner pain or agony, I don’t think any living being deserve suffering, and I won’t fight.

—Okay, that’s true, everyone has it’s own inner pain and shit, but it’s **NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS** , they’re fighting you, trying to kill you, you don’t need to spare them because maybe they have their own problems, you have yours!

—I won’t contribute for the hate chain reaction.

—You’ll get us killed, that’s what.

 

For a while I said nothing.

 

—I’m sorry.

 

We found a faded ribbon in one of the puzzles in the rooms, the same type of ribbon that I saw kids using back in my village, but this one seemed a couple dozen years abandoned, I made a little braid on the side of my hair and decided to tie it with the ribbon anyways. Flowey giggled, telling me it was neat — and I'm happy I actually made him smile. We passed through a small gap when I thought I saw something ghost-like, I tried to check again and Flowey said he did not see anything, I waited a bit, but decided to keep my path. We also found a spider bake sale... I doubt I’d like the food, Flowey told me it was made with spiders, what just made it more weird, since spiders were selling it themselves. I bought it anyways, because the bake sale was talking about saving spiders and a cause, and I don’t know when I’m seeing food again.

We also found a toy knife that Flowey told me would be of more use than the stick I was holding. I took it, even without a plan of using. The fact that all items I found usually belonged to children weighed my heart, but Flowey warned me humans where killed down here... and I kept my path. It did not take longer for us to arrive at a tree with fallen leaves around and saw a dusty, broken house. We heard a shrill scream and I'm sure I saw some fire inside the house as we stood behind the tree. I could sense Flowey trembling in the backpack. I had no idea what was it, but I sensed it was bad. We managed to pass through some monsters peacefully along the way, but I doubt this was any usual monster.

Flowey shrugged inside the backpack, I wasn’t looking at him when he said:

 

—I’ts _her_...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so.... hi......
> 
> not my first time writing, but probably the first time it's a fan-made in something.  
> and first time I post it...
> 
> I hope you guys like it... and will be nice.....
> 
> I think I'll post again soon.  
> hopefully.
> 
>  
> 
> could you please give me your opinions?


	2. death

 

A goat-like lady opened the door when she noted my presence outside and slowly walked towards me with eyes that were constantly changing between madness, frustration and disinterest, she was tall, and I felt that she was different, compared to any other monster I’ve met this far — She was strong. Flowey got inside the backpack and stayed frozen and put as she approached. And I felt fear, even though I couldn’t make myself move or run.

I'm gonna die.

I'm gonna die.

I'm so, _so_ sure I'm gonna die.

 

She touched my short hair, smoothing it from the top of my head until the tip of my locks, on my shoulders, she adjusted my blue and purple striped shirt and I felt sweat run cold in my nape, her hands were warm, but were also a bit coarse, her eyes kept changing as she looked every detail in me. I can see now, she was determined, but at the same time it looked like she wasn’t seeing me, but someone else.

 

—Are you okay from the fall my child? — she asked in a sweet mother-like tone.

—Y..es... — I replied unsure as her gaze became a bit cynical.

—My name is Toriel — she acquired composure — caretaker of the ruins, it seems that the flower in your back already teach you how things work around here — my backpack trembled again, but Flowey didn’t put it’s head of — meet me when you feel ready — her gaze became sweet — I’ll bake a pie for you, and we can talk about your abode.

 

She bowed, turning her back on me and entering the house once again, leaving the door a couple inches open, a little star, like the one I found closer to the cheese and table, appeared at the bottom of the stairs to her door. Flowey put his head a bit out when he was sure Toriel wasn’t there anymore.

 

—It’s bad Frisk — I knew — it’s REALLY bad... She is known for eating the humans she finds here, or other monsters if she feels like, she’s cruel at the point every monster in the ruins is completely scared of her.

—Is there another path? — I asked.

—What? What do you mean?

—Another way to go back home?

—No, the only exit for the ruins remains in the basement of her house.

—So... we have no other choice... — I said, stepping forward.

—Frisk, you _will_ need to fight, and your stick will not be useful as a weapon! She’s not someone you can be reasonable or gentle, the tactics you used until now will not work with her.

—We will need to try.

—Frisk I MEAN IT.

—I know you do — I said, stopping at the star — I’m sorry...

 

Flowey sigh as we looked at her door, I touched the star and I'm filled with determination, I will win this without hurting her, as much as leave in one piece. I heard the “ _SAVE”_ from the save-star as I got ready. Thinking and measuring my steps. Flowey put himself quiet inside the backpack, as I knew he was afraid of what I meant to do, and towards our probably death. I wasn’t ready to die, but I wasn’t meant for any pain also. We had to do it.

I got inside.

 

 

 

 

 

She greeted us at her living room, always switching between the frustrated and cynical face, to one that made me feel that she cared, that she was sweet, the house, otherwise, was messy and I could see dust in some corners... Dust that did not seem like actual ashes, I felt unease about that. She gave me a cinnamon-butterscotch pie and offered me a room to stay for as long as I felt like, to live if I wished so. There were moments she grabbed me too strong that my arm got some bruises, she then left us in the room and shut the door locked.

Flowey put himself out the backpack and analysed where he actually was, on his eyes I sensed he recognized something, or maybe everything. He got out the backpack messing with some toys and shoes without saying a word, and I decided not to interrupt the moment. I saw a little portrait of a human child and a goat child that looked like Toriel herself, I assumed they were her kids, she probably lost them somehow.

Maybe that’s why she resemble to me like I'm her daughter, the human girl I see in the photo does, in fact, look a lot like me, and Flowey seemed to understand the comparison as well. I decided not to deprive her of that. I got on the bed even if it was a bit small, not like I'm that tall too. Flowey got back inside the backpack that I left on the drawer beside me and looked a bit sad about things. I took of my boots but did not change my brown shorts or my black tights, I got under the bed sheets while thinking what to do, but she did not seem that bad, even if she did seem a bit... crazy. I fell asleep.

 

And it was a mistake.

 

I woke up with Toriel screaming mad above me, stabbing me with a kitchen knife and burning fire on my skin as she grabbed my arm that was wildly trying to fight her, just then I realized Flowey all shattered on the ground. She was screaming at me, saying it was my fault, that everything got wrong when I left. I felt my tears as she grabbed my neck and started suffocating me, demanding for me to stop screaming, soon enough I felt numb and passed away.

That’s it. I knew it would happen, didn’t I?

I felt my heart and my soul shatter apart as I died.

 

 

And then, I woke up at the bottom of her staircase again, gasping loud as tears escaped from me, I fell on my knees and Flowey got off the backpack confused, trying to understand what was wrong with me, what got me like that so suddenly. I was desperately looking for breath, running my hands through my body trying to find the places she stabbed and burned me, but there was nothing, I was okay.

I looked at Flowey confused and messy, trying yet to recover. He looked at me, trying to calm me and being soft, gentle and attentive.

 

—What... Happened? — I asked myself.

—Nothing? — Flowey said.

—It... she... I — I didn’t even know how to begin — I got inside, she gave me pie, and the room... — I was desperate, I could sense it in my voice — But she... killed me, It was real, I know it was, I felt the pain and... and... she said it was my fault, that I left, I never did it... —I was crying — I never left, how could it... what does...?

—Frisk, calm down... — he said, low.

—How am I back here? I know it happened, it couldn’t be imagination... I... I...

—I know Frisk, I believe you... — I looked at him, confused.

 

Flowey seemed reluctant, but reached for my soul, the same way that happens when a fight takes place. I felt it shatter, I think I even saw it, but there it was, perfect, intact. It vanished inside me once again as Flowey outlined a smile, but he was sad, I could see it.

 

—I think you died Frisk,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> glad to see you again?
> 
> I hope you guys are enjoying, leave comments about what you think I could improve <3
> 
> have a nice week!


	3. Toriel

It took me a while to realize what he was talking about as he tried to explain he understood and was once able to do it. He told me he actually remember Toriel getting inside the room and shattering him, how he wanted to reach for his last save but couldn’t... that this is how he managed to keep himself alive for so long, explaining me that Toriel killed him a lot of times already, he remembered, but just now he knows I got the power from him... so my determination was probably stronger than his. I was still catching up with my breath and staring at the save-star. I got my hand fixed at my chest, trying to understand how I could feel my heart shatter, and still now it was okay.

It was the first time I felt this much pain.

 

And it was just the beginning.

 

—We can’t enter the room — I said, gasping — we have to leave right away.

—Yea... — he said, and I remembered that I felt like he recognized the room.

 

Still, this does not seem a good time to ask anything, and I was feeling a bit better, and stood up again. I needed to be determined. I started stepping forward again as Flowey got himself inside the backpack, murmuring that he was sorry that I was the one to deal with that power, because he actually believe it to be a curse, after dying so many times. I remained silent as we did everything once again, the greetings, the pie, the looks. When she offered the room, I gently thanked, saying I wasn’t tired just yet, she looked annoyed, but did nothing.

 

—If you need anything my child, I’ll be in the living room, reading.

 

I nodded as she left. I walked around the house, checking flowers, plants, books and mirrors as I planned what to do, what to say — my reflection in the mirror still looked like me, I’m still me, I'm alive somehow, I'm okay, I can do it... I just don’t know how. I checked the contents of my backpack with Flowey, there was the piece of the cinnamon-butterscotch pie, a spider cider and a spider donut we bought at the spider sale, a monster candy, the toy knife I refuse to use, my used bandage and a bit of soil and dirt from the time we put Flowey inside.

I wasn’t sure on how any of those items could help us, none of them seem to say or mean anything to Toriel, we gave up thinking and I walked back towards her and she started talking about taking care of me, teaching and being my mother, she also started talking about snails. I nodded, confirmed and smiled to everything, until she gave me a suspicious look.

 

—Is there something you want to ask?

 

I remained silent for a while.

 

—How... Do I go back to the surface? — I said, as her gaze began to change — how do I go back home?

—This is your home now, and don’t act ungrateful.

 

I opened my mouth to reason about it, but she gave me that look of madness and I decided to remain silent and took pace to “my room”. I looked at the staircase and decided to go down. It did not take long until she found me, and here is where it begins. We entered a fight where I tried to talk, but I lost count on how many times — and in how many ways — she killed me in that corridor, and I started over on the bottom of the stairs, catching my breath, making sure my heart was still in one piece, looking Flowey getting worried and worried, feeling terrible about how many times he also died, and it was my fault.

 

And starting over.

 

She stabbed me.

She burned me alive.

She dismembered me.

She dragged me by the hair up the stairs.

She cooked me.

 

 

I lost count, and almost lost hope of leaving — as much as Flowey gave up on telling me to equip the toy knife and fight back — but I was getting used on how to dodge and escape her furious attempts towards me, I was learning it, sometime, somehow, **it had to stop**. I knew she wasn’t to blame, I could see she had a loss, I could understand this world drove her crazy, but I couldn’t stay, I couldn’t trust her to care for me, and not freak out suddenly when I’m asleep or something similar, I did not want to go back to my home, or nearly have something to go back to, but that does not mean I can stay, and if the whole underground is like this... then...  then... she stopped, starting to cry in front of the door that leaded us to the exit of the ruins — and entrance of the underground.

I stopped, breathing.

 

—I'm sorry — she said, falling on her knees — it’s just... I miss my children, I miss Chara and _my Asriel_ — she looked at me, but it was like she was seeing someone else, I also sensed a reaction from Flowey on my backpack — and you look... so much like her, even though she never managed to reach your age, your soul is as red as hers, could you... be... my Chara?

—I would, if I could — I replied, unsure.

—I... I can’t keep you here, I can’t ask you to forgive me, I can’t ask you to understand, and I won’t. But please forgive what this world is still about to make you go through — she said, between tears — the underground is hunting the last soul needed for freedom and I usually make sure they don’t get it... because we don’t deserve it... but... Please forgive us, and try to understand — she said as she stood up again, opening the door — I won’t stand in your way, but please, don’t get yourself killed too.

 

I walked slowly towards the door, passing beside her a little cautious, feeling a bit lost, and a bit confused, and a bit sad.

 

—Just... — she murmured — never come back.

 

I passed through the door as she closed it, and saw a hallway-like path in front of me, Flowey stood out of the backpack slowly, looking at the door before checking on my burns and bruises and cuts and blood, but even if I did look terrible, he was relieved, and so was I, we made it out alive.

 

—I can’t believe it — he said — I can’t believe you did it.

—We did it — I said.

 

He tried the smile again, failing, and kept quiet inside the backpack as we walked. He looked back at the door a couple times, like he was leaving home. I'm not sure what his life was before I show up and screw his ability to not die, and he did not tell me if he ever left the ruins, we never actually talked about much more besides what we should do, but I don’t know if he was missing it, or if — just like me — he was contemplating the news we would live, since we did not got this far ever before, or even if he was making the math of how many times I died until I could make us through it without hurting Toriel.

I don’t know also how many times.

I lost the count at the same time I tried to stop feeling the pain.

 

 

But it did still hurt, every time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooooooooooooooooooooooooo.................
> 
>  
> 
> yea.
> 
> next chapter things get messy, cause I will start switching between Sans POV and Frisks POV.  
> Sans enters the next chapter tho, excited?


	4. blood on snow

_Sans’ POV_

It did happen a couple times. I did restart that same day a dozen times already, I lost the count, it was probably something about that fucking flower, maybe it is dying too much, not like I care, but it’s been a while since it does not do it, and today it’s going absolutely crazy. I just feel tired of the repeating, and of Papyrus yelling at me the same fucking thing at the same fucking morning, there were a moment I stopped listening, or at least _I tried_.

I was at the door in the entrance of the underground when she passed through it, full of bruises and burning and blood, looking _terrible_. She was short, but was a human, looking somewhere between her 19 and 20’s, not a child as some in the past, few managed to pass this door anyways. I started following her as she hugged herself, trying to keep herself warm, from all places I’ve been here on the underground, we’re probably at the coldest one.

I never experienced the ruins, but I don’t think there’s snow there.

 

She looked back as I stepped on a branch and broke it. I — of course — vanished. But she did look more cautious about her surroundings. She knew something was there. I got closer to her when she arrived on the little bridge with the gate my brother built, which I knew she could not pass through so easily, it just seems like an easy kill, an easy prey.

She was kinda cute tho’

 

—Hey human — I said — don’t you know how to greet a new pal? — she trembled, and I saw it — turn around and shake my hand.

 

She turned slowly to look at me, her eyes were hazel brown, tired and scared.

They shut blank when she shook my hand.

 

—Don’t you know? — I said, as her body fell in the hole — in this world, its kill or be killed.

 

 

 

And I woke up, once again, with Papyrus shouting at my door.

 

Welp, another reset, was fun tho’

Different.

I’ll check the door again soon.

 

 

Frisk’s POV

 

I should know I couldn’t trust, and my last save was on the bottom of Toriel’s house stairs, she killed me once more before I had the chance to spare her again, then me and Flowey engaged on a conversation as soon as she closed the door behind me, about what was waiting for us, our next steps. Flowey did not see the skeleton — he was too cold and decided to keep warm inside the backpack; I described the black hoodie, red shirt, striped scarf, golden teeth, black basket shorts and tennis... I saw him only once, I got surprised that I could remember him this well.

 

—It’s Sans. — Flowey replied me — he’s the most dangerous monster on the underground, but he’s also a bit neutral, or lazy, I never know.

—He killed me — I said.

—His quiet nature does not mean you can trust him — Flowey told me.

 

I kept quiet when I passed the gate once more, stepping on the snow, feeling instantly the cold. Flowey got quiet, but this time did not get inside the backpack again. I heard the branch, but did not turn back. I walked quiet until the bridge when I heard his footsteps getting closer, and turned to look at him. He also had a _save-star_ in a chain, I did not notice that before.

I need to save.

 

—Hey human, don’t you know how to greet a new pal? — he said in the same deep voice as the first time — turn around and shake my hand.

 

Not falling for the same trick twice.

I looked at the palm of his skeleton hands, seeing the small, shiny silver device that probably caused my last death, and did not took his hand, he seemed a bit annoyed, but ignored me and teleported to the other side of the gate, what made me confuse, I did not know a living creature could just... teleport. Flowey told me he’s the strongest in the whole underground, so maybe I should really be more careful — Flowey, otherwise, was looking at him, deep in thought.

 

—You know, I’m too tired to keep messing around with you, since you’re smart enough to not trust everyone you see — he said, blinking an eye and gazing me from the other side of the gate — but my brother? Papyrus? He’s a human hunting _fanatic_ — I sensed Flowey tremble on my back — and if I were you. I would not get in his way.

 

I heard an angry, mad scream.

 

—In fact, I think it’s him coming closer.

 

The skeleton walked towards the scream as I managed to jump the gate, making myself a couple cuts and almost falling on the hole. I heard a piercing voice screaming at the one called Sans about being lazy and irresponsible, and trash, and it kept going on. I hid between the trees as I saw a taller, stronger skeleton scolding the one that I’ve just met. The smaller one we met was Sans, as Flowey told me a couple minutes ago, the other one was... what is his name? Sans just told us...

The taller skeleton’s eyes burned a bit as he dragged his eyes to my direction.

 

He smiled.

And a shiver ran all the way in my spine.

 

He saw me.

 

—OH, I SEE... WE DO HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST THIS TIME.

 

The smaller one gaze found me, and I looked deep within his eyes as I felt a sharp bone stab me from the back, right on the middle of my heart, and as I felt it break apart, my eyes kept stuck on the smaller skeleton eyes, even though he did not seem to care that I died once again — quite the opposite, he had a smile; and I passed away, watching the snow on the ground color itself with my blood.

I felt my soul shatter.

 

I passed all the way through Toriel once again, with a couple less injury this time. Flowey reminded me the new, taller skeleton is Papyrus. I exited the ruins and walked to the bridge expecting the smaller skeleton to meet me there, but got confused as I did not hear the branch break behind me this time. I stopped at the bridge, **nothing**. Flowey checked the contents we still have — Toy knife, my bandage, spider donut and cinnamon-butterscotch pie; the spider Cider and monster candy I used during Toriel’s fight.

We waited until I start hearing the screams once again. He did not come.

 

So... Does Sans just change his path somehow?

 

I heard Papyrus scream the same things to Sans, he was probably there somewhere, I did not have the time to inspect the place or anything, but Sans was there, he did not encounter us this time, somehow it made me confused — but as I was looking at him with a bored face hearing the other skeleton’s screams, he gazed me, and I stepped back, slowly finding a place to hide on the woods. I understand the resets, and nothing ever changes unless I change it. They always say the same things, in the same timing. That was the first time someone changed its path by itself after a reset.

 

 

But how?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... did you guys enjoying Sans POV?
> 
>  
> 
> ...  
> cause I actually find him more fun to write :D  
> you guys never give opinions, I'm alone here ç~ç


	5. savepoints

I decided to wait for the screams to stop before crossing the bridge and trespassing the gate. I seated — and hide — a bit far from it as I realized Papyrus _does_ come closer to it after screaming at Sans anyways. When he was nowhere to be seen or heard anymore, I noticed Sans standing at the front of a small sentry station, quiet and serious.

I climbed the gate a bit easier this time as I was getting used to repeating myself — I made a small cut on my face anyways.

 

I need another save-star.

 

I approached Sans, that did not direct his gaze to me until I was right in front of him. He had a small crack on his skull that I'm pretty sure wasn’t there before — my heart weighed. I looked around my backpack as Sans directed himself to the back of the sentry, seating on the ground, getting ready to sleep, Flowey did not understood, but didn’t say a thing too.

The best thing I found was the cinnamon-butterscotch piece of pie that Toriel gave me — since I'm not sure the spider donut is actually edible, even though I did drink the spider cider.

 

I left it on the sentry as he gazed at me.

 

—Wathafuck’ you doing doll? — he asked, directing me an angry smile.

—You... seem hurt.

—So what? I don’t need your _mercy_.

 

I said nothing as he kept looking at me with a bit of disgust. I looked at the only way I could take and started moving as he stood and took a bite of the pie. I saw his wounds healing instantly, my chest felt lighter again. I made my way without looking at him again, and found a _save-star_. I’ve never been so happy at seeing one. I’d appreciate using Sans’ star, but I don’t feel like he’d let me, he barely let me get closer.

I felt determined and _SAVED_ as my wounds got better, Flowey seemed to notice.

 

—So you have _savepoints?_ — he asked.

— _Save-stars_ — I pointed. He rolled eyes for me.

—I called it savepoints, but maybe yours look different than mine. I never had one here.

—How does yours look like?

—Like nothing. I did it whenever I wanted to.

 

Oh, I wish.

 

There were a box closer to the save-start, with nothing inside, the little board told me I could find the same box somewhere else, and the contents I’ve put here would be there as well. I don’t know how it can possibly work, but I put the toy knife I found on the ruins there, thinking that I could use my bandage once more, I also kept the spider donut, as I don’t feel like eating it. I closed the box and took a deep breath, saving once again.

 

That’s it.

It’s all new now.

 

Even ~~if~~ when I die.

 

_Sans’ POV_

She seemed a bit lost around, and it, frankly, was fun and annoying at the same time — she put a hell’lot of effort on being nice. I hate this human, this girl in specific, even though she tried to be nice to me. I'm not falling for the good girl act, I won’t be this blind, I’ve seen enough of this world and no one is this fucking innocent. She managed to pass through small monsters, but died for Doggo. By then I already realized she rules the resets now, it just made me sure when she showed up right in front of the save-star closer to my first sentry.

I got it now.

She wanted me to help her with **my** save-star.

 

Not happening sweetheart.

 

 

Still, I kept following around as she tried out commons monsters, she managed to pass through Doggo, until dying to one of my brother’s puzzles — the electric maze. She was luck to not find him yet, and I kept finding myself on my sentry, right beside her _savepoint_. That was annoying me, and I give no shit of how much or in how many ways she died until she finally managed to pass the maze, but I'm pretty sure that it’s been days already of her trying out, she died for my electric shock toy, what is just a spark toy in comparison on what my brother made at the maze.

I felt tired of that bullshit, but I met her beside the nice-cream station, where she finally managed to arrive. Before that was Lesser Dog, Dogamy & Dogaressa, a couple of Paps’ puzzles that she would die a lot, since one of them was completely random every time, it does not matter the reset; Greater Dog and one of the worse Paps’s puzzles before she arrives at Snowdin — the bridge.

But I know that, after the nice-cream station and the camp of snow-golf, there is another save-star.

 

 

She looked at me there and smiled, but I kept the frown as she came closer.

 

—You seem to be doing pretty ok — I said, as she came closer.

 

She nodded, kinda ironically.

She has no idea I understand the resets — or actually _remember_ them.

 

I kept quiet as she looked at me, trying to figure me out maybe. I did not care. I got back home when she left. She probably arrived at the poisonous spaghetti with the microwave and stuff save-star, Paps leaves that shit there every freaking day. I blinked back as I believe she ate it, and laugh a bit while teleporting home once more. Papyrus wasn’t home. He was probably with Undyne, screaming off.

Both of them are way too noisy for me.

 

And even if I try to, I _do not_ hate Paps.

 

I looked myself at the glass from the window, checking at the crack that vanished from my skull, even if I could see a bit of dust there. That pie’s magic was insane, the type of magic I don’t see since Toriel and Asgore were together, too many years ago on the golden days of the underground when everything was good, I suppose. The lost queen was probably dead now, and king’s completely done to madness and hate. That’s when our world twisted out, and I wasn’t even there yet, even though my father did save some of the magic food from times where people were kind and told me stories. He tried not to corrupt, I think.

After that came the labs, I’ve seen 1 or 2 other human kids.

Then my father lost his personal battle, and I killed him.

Then my brother became this asshole, and I was too much of a coward to threaten him.

Then my life turned into this trash.

 

I kept the save-star my father gave me before he turn completely crazy, it did not take long until Papyrus corrupted the same way. I got distanced as I saw the world go downhill, I didn’t even try to fight this madness, I didn’t even try to _be good_. I don’t remember when I got used to the resets, but I know it was after Alphys took leadership of the lab. I reset back to Doll’s last savepoint. Probably Dogamy  & Dogaressa.

 

 

I teleported back home and was brought back a couple more times when it stopped, but I don’t know why it did, I teleported myself to a small, silent area around the woods, downhill on one of Paps’ puzzle — untouched; she did not show up, maybe she actually died for once? Paps arrived home at night and I decided to flee myself from his night frown and the angry he would discount on me. I got a dinner at Grillby’s before going check the places where she should be, but she were nowhere to be found around. No soul left too, then I saw her, yet  at the savepoint, lying down on the ground, freezing but sleeping. The flower was right beside her, sleeping as well.

 

I left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so much space for so much backstory.  
> will I even/ever make it come true?


	6. frustration

_Frisks’ POV_

 

It was hard to go through the Dogs remaining, but after spending sometime sleeping at the snow, taking my day off, I felt really slow and sick. A whole day had passed by anyways. Dogammy and Dogaressa were not there in the next day, what made me think I was interrupting the marriage day, as it said in one of the sighs. Anyways, I died at one of the puzzles, and decided that pass through Dogammy and Dogaressa was probably a better idea than starve more and feel cold for a whole day being buried alive in snow.

At least, I wasn’t sick anymore.

 

I died a couple more times at Dogammy and Dogaressa when I got used to Lesser Dog — who was actually a pretty sweet dog, never get me in too much trouble, and the way his neck goes around and he gets excited about being pet always makes me smile; when I finally made it through the couple, I came back to my save-star, because as much as I get used to it, I'm imperfect and it still hurts when their axes makes its way through my skin and bones, it still hurts every time I feel my soul shatter.

I still died a couple times for Papyrus puzzles but was too far away to return just for saving, and for my luck, one of the puzzles was broken — one with a bunch of tiles on the ground; it was at greater Dog when **frustration** became a part of me. I was feeling tired, feeling sick, I could have just died already, at the very first time Toriel assassinated me, and it made sense when Flowey told me he considered it a curse, I could’ve be done right there. Greater Dog got me one more time when I decided I needed another break to relax. I decided to stay closer to one of Papyrus puzzles, afraid that greater Dog would catch me closer to his sentry, Flowey kept silent, but was frustrated as well.

 

—I understand you have your ideology, but this will drive you crazy.

—We will find a way... — I told Flowey.

 

But I did not believe myself at all, actually.

 

Worse than that, Papyrus showed up, to recalibrate his puzzle, finding me seated beside the open bridge from one of the puzzles I already solved. I ran downhill from him, embracing Flowey as firmly as I possibly could — I’m okay with death as long as he does not die with me, and I reset without inflicting on him the suffering I deal, feeling my soul shatter; I turned, finding Sans in the corner, he turned to me, intrigued on what I was doing there, I was intrigued as well, and forgot I did not have time for that, Papyrus showed up behind me, pushing me from the hair and lifting me up, he then looked at Sans.

 

—WHY ARE YOU HERE YOU LAZY TRASH?

—Does it matter? — Sans answered back, disinterested.

 

Papyrus launched me towards Sans, that held me before dropping me as well.

 

—GO ON — Papyrus shouted — KILL IT.

—Isn’t it _your job_?

—DON’T YOU _FUCKING DARE_ TALK TO ME LIKE THAT — Papyrus became aggressive, pulling Sans from the neck and hitting him.

—Stop! — I shouted too, and Papyrus looked at me, his eyes where burning fury.

—OH, SO NOW EVERYONE THINKS THEY CAN COUNTER ME? PAPYRUS, FUTURE HEAD OF THE ROYAL GUARD?

 

Papyrus walked towards me as Sans stood and put his hands on his jacket’s pockets, looking me in the eyes. His eyes were tired and seemed confused, I tried to believe for a while that he would do something for me as I froze on the ground — there were nowhere to run; but he did nothing but look **in my eyes** as Papyrus stabbed me with dozens of bones. Sans kept his hands on his pockets, looking inside my eyes as I die.

I felt my soul shatter.

And I was back on the last save.

 

At least I shouldn’t have to deal with the Dogs anymore, apart from the Greater Dog.

 

My point now was if Sans was there all the time, I never turned to that side before. I left Flowey to rest at the save-star, in a warm spot. He did not die when Papyrus killed me this time, but I was pretty sure I was going to die again, and that’s not something I want to worry him even more about, he does not need to take the risk for himself, and he does not need to watch it happen until I figure a way out, or be sure I can bring him along. I already know when he cries for not being able to help me, he already asked me to leave him behind, because he was a burden.

The answer is always no.

 

—Will you try talking to Sans? — he asked me.

 

I don’t know...

 

 

 

 I got downhill as soon as I finished the last puzzle from Papyrus — the bridge. Sans was there, right on the corner, still and quiet. I got a bit closer and he turned his eyes to me, my lips where a thin line as I seated beside him. He looked me for a while before seating too, we kept quiet for a long time, I could hear Papyrus’ rage as he recalibrated the puzzle, noticing someone solved it, and then he was gone again, yelling that a human passed and was hiding somewhere, after a couple minutes of silence, I was sure he was gone, and did not think about checking down here.

It was already late night.

 

—Why you came here? — Sans asked.

—Papyrus would find me, and kill me, if he sees me up on the bridge — “ _again_ ” I omitted.

—Don’t you have a path or something to do, besides keep killing time here like this? — I remained silent — whattafuck are you doing anyway?

—Going back home — I said — I need to get to the barrier.

—Welp, good luck doll, ‘cause you’re screwed.

—I can do it.

 

He looked at me intrigued... and... annoyed?

 

—You really think you’re **so** much better than any of us don’t ya’? — he said, as his left eye started flashing a bright, red color — well, you’re not gonna _MERCY_ your way outta’ this sweetheart. — I stood up and got some distance, but Sans grabbed my arm anyways. — Better luck **next time**.

 

 

Was the last thing he said as a huge bone creature materialized behind him. The last thing I felt was a burning sensation and a light blindness as I was back to my last save. I was okay with that, since Papyrus did recalibrate everything, it would be terrible to leave Flowey behind — I would eventually die just to make sure I brought him with me. I passed through all the puzzles once again with Flowey until we arrive at the last one in the bridge. I left Flowey in a safe place behind a tree, and explained that Papyrus would pass this way, for him to be silent, I would be hidden as well, I told him I died for Papyrus, instead of saying Sans killed me...

He nodded and I got my way downhill to meet Sans once again.

 

Sans hates me, I know it.

 

 

But everyone has a frustration, and a sweet spot.

Everyone has reasons.

 

Sans wasn’t the type who was violent with me for free usually. If only I could win his trust, maybe...  but that was a risk. Maybe I should just... not say anything. But his path does change every time and I have no clue about why, or how.

And... I like him, I... sympathise with him.

 

 

I trust Sans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking about making some drawing, what you guys think? I promise I don't suck at drawing...


	7. repeating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay, delay D:

_Sans’ POV_

 

I think that was the second time I killed her with my own hands, but “surprisingly”, there she was again in the next reset, I frowned as she seated beside me again, and after a while I followed the call. Girl, I'm too tired for this game. We remained silent as we heard my noisy brother complaining about a human somewhere between the monsters and all that bullshit. When we were both sure he was gone, I began again.

 

—Why you came here?

—Papyrus would find me, and kill me, if he sees me up on the bridge.

 

She said **exactly** the same dialogue as before.

 

Girl, I'm sick of this.

 

I remained silent as she looked at me, I know you’re judging me for killing you, but you don’t talk about it, I don’t talk about it.

 

—How do I go back?

—Where?

 

She pointed up.

 

—To the surface.

 

_For. Fucks. Sake._

I looked at her bullshit again and my magic boiled to kill this little bitch, but...

 

—You’ll have to pass through Snowdin, with Papyrus; then Waterfall with Undyne, then Hotland with crazy Aphys mad scientist, probably her bot Metatton, the core with a ton other enemies and, of course, King Asgore, at the castle — she looked at me — you’ll die way before that ‘tho.

—I’ll be okay — she said — Thanks.

 

 

She stood and walked towards greater Dog, and a couple minutes later everything reset again and I was back home, a couple minutes before going to that spot downhill. Guess greater Dog killed her. She showed up a couple times more, and died a couple times more, one day she did now show up and the reset were a little earlier. The last time she showed up, she did not make any question, neither did I, and we remained silent. It’s been a week already, I think, in this madness, I'm starting to get used to her and the resets.

 

It took a month until she got used to Greater Dog in a point where the long bridge-of-death Papyrus built — with fire and weapons and bullshit everywhere —was the only thing really killing her, it took 2 tries for the flower get it and be able to carry her back, that got me impressed, alone she would be dead. After that she managed to save at the Snowdin save-star. I saw her at night saving, after renting a room and leaving the flower to rest, I was getting out from the night-Papyrus. I don’t stay home for dinner and usually grab something at Grillby, she was entering the library, exploring the city.

I looked right through her and kept my way, entering Grillby and closing the door. After a couple minutes I heard the murmuring and the ring at the door of my fav restaurant, of course she came. I was already ok with this girl by now, she took the seat beside me and I did not directed my gaze to her, and she remained silent for a while, I asked for a burger with mustard, she asked for the same, but with ketchup.

 

We ate in complete silence and left together when the restaurant was almost closing, Grillby somehow did not care about her appearance on his place anyways. She waved me a good bey and went walking to the Inn where she reserved a room for a night sleep. I think she’s a little bit safer here in Snowdin, but that’s not what caught my attention when I stopped at my doorstep.

 

 

But the fact that I cared.

 

_Frisk’s POV_

 

I woke up and went the path to Waterfall deciding not to save, so if I die I can always have a dinner and a good night sleep, it would save a bit of the little money a couple monsters left for me as I spared them, including the Dogs, that were in the restaurant yesterday as well. I left Flowey at the Inn, he was still tired from all the strength he used to save me at the bridge, and I'm still checking my moves from now on, it’s safer for him to stay. Sans were beside something that I believe is a garage or a tool shed, he was standing on the wall and looked at me when I passed.

 

—You know you’re gonna die, don’t ya’?

 

I remained silent as he directed his gaze to me, and I nodded, it’s not from now that I believe he knows about the resets, what gets me thinking why he does not help me, or get rid of me himself... not like he could, not like he did not **try** it... then I remembered my realization: _he hates me_. I kept walking and met Papyrus on the end of the Snowdin road. It didn’t took much of effort for him to stab me with dozens of bones and I was back in my last save, I was getting used to the heavy heart beating every time I'm killed.

It’s just still painful.

 

My soul shatter is another thing I can’t get used to.

 

I looked to my right side and found Sans heading toward the restaurant once again, we got inside together this time.

 

—2 burgers — Sans said — with ketchup and mustard.

 

I said nothing as I was always more sure he does remember everything — and I may admit it annoys me to think he does. He’s the only one that always changes, he always acts different, looks different, sometimes he hates me, sometimes he does not care and sometimes he **does** care. He’s the only one that I don’t understand by now, and the only one I want to. We ate while talking about my quest to the surface, Grillby stayed around in silence but paying attention, he seemed friendly.

Sans reassured a couple times that I would die. I did not argue against that.

I will.

I know I will.

I’ve done it a dozen times already.

 

I waved goodbye once more, and this time he did it too.

 

—What happened? — Flowey asked when I arrived at the Inn.

—I was having dinner again, sorry.

—No silly, the reset — he said.

 

Oh, yea.

 

—Papyrus.

 

The next morning Sans wasn’t there beside the garage/tool shed wall as I entered Papyrus fight — and I left Flowey at the Inn as well. I managed to dodge some attacks but talking or sparing didn’t seem to work or mean anything, and I don’t know how to pass through him. The only thing I do know is that I'm **not killing him** — there’s always another way out, it has to be.

Papyrus finally managed to pin me on the ground, ripping my skin and pulling out my leg. I screamed at the pain of a way I did not die before, and was way more painful than I expected. The point about pain though is that, no matter how many times I feel it, it’s still _pain_. Papyrus got in my neck, biting me with his fangs and I gave up on my voice, starting to cry... then...

I saw Sans, at the corner of Snowdin’s exit, looking at me.

 

I felt my heart shatter.


	8. fall for the enemy

I showed up at my save point again, looking in the right and finding him there, looking at me. **That’s it**. I passed through him but did not hear him entering Grillbys. I walked up the street trying hard to keep my _shit_ together — as much as I don’t use curses often, but I'm so... **frustrated**. He saw me dying, he saw me dying a couple times already, I don’t know if he does not care, or if he enjoys it, maybe he have no fucking idea how much it actually hurts ‘cause he’s not the one being murdered every couple hours! And **I know** he remembers. Did he kill me in the past just out of _fun_? Because he _could_?

I seated at the edge of the water, too cold to take out my boot and put my feet inside, I just settled in the corner closer to a tree and let it go, my tears, one after another, out of frustration and sadness and pain and wishing to just give up and die already; until he showed up, seating beside me, I could not handle to even **look** at him, I wasn’t sure if I was too mad or too scared or whatever. It just...

 

—What’s wrong? — he asked, I remained silent — I warned you were going to die.

—You know it all along and you just stand there and **do nothing**! — I shouted.

—Oh, sorry, what is _your_ plan? — he started, cynical — fight my brother? I'm not killing him, but ask him if he would kill _me_! I bet he **urges** for this day! — he shouted back.

—Don’t bullshit me! Why the fuck you even **care** on watching when he rips me off?

—You’ve been through all this bullshit, why the fuck you keep repeating it and killing yourself if you know it’s not gonna help?

—What do you want me to do? Kill **your** brother?

—If you’re not fucking fighting don’t go suicide, do you even feel the pain? Are you a human yet? Or had the reset shit drove you crazy as well? Like a fucking masochist.

—What do you know about the pain or frustration _I feel_? Wasn’t you the one who killed me a couple times before? And why? Do you think it’s _funny_? Does it make you feel good? Better than me? **I know I'm weak** , that’s not even the reason why I don’t want to hurt any of you.

 

He kept silent for a while, looking at me.

 

—You were our **ticket to freedom** , can I at least feel frustrated about the fact that I actually... **care** for you?

 

I stopped, eye-popping at him. He dragged his hand, rubbing his forehead. I looked at him, trying to gain back my posture as he calmed down, his eye was already burning and I kinda remember how that ends. It took him some seconds until he looked back at me; I waited beside him, silent. He looked at me, finally managing to beat his inner demons, stretching his hand to reach me, I receded a bit and he stopped midway stretching it again, touching my face softly.

His hands, like Toriel’s hands, were a bit coarse, but he managed to be soft and gentle as he intertwined his fingers on the locks of my hair, I’ve been dragged to him all along, in a way that I don’t actually understand. I always thought that it was because, somehow, I knew he could remember every timelapse, every course that happened. But it’s not just that, Flowey remembers it too. He checked the ribbon I still use with a small braid on my short hair, his eyes were tracing and memorizing every detail of myself.

 

He approached me slowly, like he was unsure himself what he was doing, and dragged my head towards him. I don’t know how it works for monsters, and he was a skeleton, but I saw his eye sockets closing as I tried to follow his flow. Sans’ lips touched mine slowly and unsure, but I felt my face burning as he caressed my cheeks, he got me apart slowly as well, and seemed satisfied, a bit happy, but confused at the same time. I touched his skull as our foreheads kept together. In the next second, he was gone.

 

_Sans’ POV_

Whattafuck am I even doing?

 

I teleported to my room, my face burning red and my head spinning towards her, she was everything I should never have, that I should **never** make mine, and here I am, falling for the enemy, for a creature that have so much power, but is also so easy to kill. She’s the seventh soul, we take it and we’re free to go. But as trash as I am, I can’t do it with her.

For fucks sake now I actually _want_ Papyrus to kill me.

 

But she has the reset, she’s somehow unkillable, immortal, at the same time I do know how much pain she may be through. Gosh Papyrus beat the crap out of me a little more every fucking day, I can’t let her pass through that, and I can’t help her leave at the same time. There’s no safer place for them, I could enjoy a little time with her, not like she wants to be with me, she wants to go away.

Why would life make it simple, uh?

 

 

The next morning bloomed and I was beside the tool-shed wall again, waiting for her to pass, she approached, looking at me, once more she decided to keep the flower away from the battle, not like he could help that much anyways, not against Papyrus. I stretched my hand for her and she grabbed it, I teleported us out of there, to my sentry station, the first place she met me, and seated under the counter with her, she trusted me enough to lay her head on my shoulder.

We both could enjoy some peace.

 

—What is the plan? — she asked, a couple minutes later.

 

Fuck girl, I don’t know.

 

—I'm figuring it out, but we’re a bit out of options.

—I want to leave this place.

—Like all of us, but without another soul that’s impossible.

 

She looked at me, and I felt really weird for a minute. For the first time in dozens of years, it wasn’t kill or be killed with someone else. I could teleport her between places, but none of this places means **out**. We don’t have peace in a single location on the entire underground, and I don’t want her killing herself for nothing, or anything, or everything for fucks sake.

I’ve seen enough.

 

We remained silent for a long time.

 

—What about Papyrus?

—He usually does not come here. — I said.

 

**Too early**. I heard him screaming my name outside the sentry station, he was approaching. The girl grabbed my arm as I realized how screwed we are, she was scared, and I was pretty sure I did not have enough space there to hide her, not like hiding her from Papyrus would work anyways. And I don’t know shit about this girl, even though we managed to make it through here, fuck I don’t even know her name!

I do know she resets when she’s killed.

I do know she likes ketchup _in_ the burger — I just drink the whole bottle of mustard.

I do know she wears a red, faded ribbon in a small braid.

I do know she has _something_ with me.

 

But I don’t know her fucking name.

 

 

Papyrus screamed once more when he was just a few steps from my sentry and I recognized the fear in her eyes.

 

 

Yea, shit.


	9. dust on blood

Shit.

Shit shit shit shit **SHIT**

Why the actual FUCK is he here?

 

I grabbed her down as I stood to see him, but my brother isn’t the innocent Papyrus that walked beside me too many years ago, and he’s not **that** stupid. He grabbed me by the collar of my jacked, and launched me off the sentry, I tasted snow as I saw him grabbing her as well, I conjured my magic and launched him a bone when he was about to make his way on her flesh. He stopped midway, looking at me, furious.

Yup, I got his attention.

_Nice._

 

 

He dropped her down and took steps towards me, and I saw the tears on her eyes.

 

—I SHOULD KNOW THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG — he shouted at me —MY PUZZLES WERE BEATEN, THE DOG GUARDS ARE ALL ACTING ALOOF AND WEIRD TALKING ABOUT THE _MERCYFUL_ HUMAN — he started acting cynical, pointing her out — THEN WHEN I THINK YOU MAY KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT THE FUCKING HUMAN, BECAUSE YOU’RE **SUPPOSE** TO WATCH FOR IT, _CAPTURE IT_. YOU’RE HELPING THIS DISGUSTING CREATURE, HIDING IT!

—Oh ‘cause you understand me _SO WELL_ — I said back.

 

I couldn’t hurt Papyrus, something inside me would never let me do it, even with every fucking thing he already make me go through, but I shouldn’t expect the same consideration for him. He started attacking me, which I dodged right away, what just made him madder.

 

—I CAN DEAL WITH YOU LATER — he told me, turning back to the girl — FIRST, LET ME GET YOUR SOUL.

 

He lifted a bone to kill her, but I stopped his hand, making it freeze.

 

—DON’T LOWER YOUR GUARD WHEN YOU HAVE ONLY 1 HP —

 

He said...

... Hitting me on the back.

 

I felt myself bleed and fell on my knees; I also couldn’t keep my magic, sorry Doll. Not like I did not know he was pretty up for killing me, I just never felt the actual death like _this_. The girl, the human, she started crying, looking at me, screaming my name, reaching for me —I tried it too; and I think if that’s how it feels when she catches me looking when she dies too... It’s awful, the fact that she was desperate just because of me made it easier, but anyways... It’s still shit. Sorry sweetheart.

Papyrus completes my show anyways, and finishes her off right in front of my eyes... again, ripping her arm and splitting her in the middle, pulling the heart out. I see her tears and hear her scream far apart, as most of me is already dust, now **I** want _so fucking hard_ to kill Paps. The last thing I see is her body falling with lost, sad and wet eyes on the snow beside me, my hand vanishes before I'm able to touch her face, and my dust mixes with her blood.

I feel my soul shatter.

 

 

 

 

I gasp as I find myself able to breathe once again in front of my house.

For a couple minutes back there I forgot she could reset. My chest is burning and my senses are confused, I feel a hand touching my shoulder and flap it out in a small outbreak of panic on what just happened. She’s looking at me with a tear in her eyes. I grab her, pushing her closer as I teleport us to my sentry again. It’s night time, this time I’m sure my _fucking_ brother is not coming around, he was home when I left. I repeat it to myself a couple times.

I stop for a while to breath and she puts her hands on my cheekbones. Fuck girl is this the kind of pain you had to deal so fucking many times already? Did it hurt like this when I killed you too? I calm myself when I notice she’s still crying. I push her closer and hug her, and we both remain silent as she accommodates herself inside the jacket I'm wearing. I forgot she has skin to feel cold.

 

—That... wasn’t expected — I finally say.

—You okay? — she asks, and I nod — maybe he came to look for you after I did not show up on his battle, I did not know this could happen, I’m sorry.

—Not your fault — I said.

 

We kept not looking at each other, but as her trembling voice and through my shirt I knew she let herself cry a bit, I kept silent, we were already okay and safe, we just have to not do the same mistakes again, but it’s not like I can keep her safe either, not in Snowdin, not anywhere. The point is: I’m unable to kill Papyrus as much as he is able to kill me. I could kill anyone else though. Maybe we could find somewhere else to keep her safe.

But there’s not a single person in this whole underground I trust.

 

—Maybe the ghost — I said a couple minutes later.

—What? — she asked.

—The ghost, he used to travel between Waterfall and the ruins, maybe he can keep you. You would be safer there.

—I haven’t met him.

—He probably met you though.

 

Napstablook talked to some kids on the past and saw _every single_ human. He’s depressed, but did not turn crazy as everyone else did. He had a strong link with the ghost that now assumes the Mettaton form. Last time I heard from him was many years ago when he said that the caretaker of the Ruins killed another child and _ate_ it. That’s when he stopped going there. I’m not sure how much I trust him or how is his sanity nowadays, he is a sad living, maybe she could help him too. It’s probably the only safe house in this underground.

She can’t stay on the Inn for much longer too.

It has to be the plan until we think about a way to get her off here.

 

—What’s your name? — I asked.

 

The circumstances of my death made me realize how little I know about the creature I actually died for, and I'm not even sure about everything in how I feel about her.

 

—Frisk — she said with a giggle.

—Nah, I prefer sweetheart — I joked.

—You can call me however you wish.

 

Uh, I like this.

 

 

_Frisk’s POV_

 

 

It was all news for me. Sans was unstable, mysterious and I was always in the line between he hates me and he cares. I think he wished to hate me, maybe he just got used, not like we are able to just like someone we just met as well... or not. I like Sans, and I don’t know him, but the way I felt when I saw him dying, unable to do anything. It broke a part of me.

I don’t want to lose Sans.

 

I also don’t think he ever died before.

I wish he never died at all.

 

—I’m sorry — he said, suddenly, and I looked at him — I never knew how it was like... you know — he gestured his own soul — feeling it shatter.

 

I gestured my own soul.

 

—This is the worst part... Everything else we can learn how to deal with.

—This is bullshit — he said — I don’t want you to feel this shit ever again.

 

I couldn’t contain a little smile.

 

Me too Sans.

Me too.


	10. dead-line

 

_Frisk’s POV_

 

 

As the night fell down, Sans left me on the Inn and asked me to stay there until I receive his message. He would check on the ghost and see what he can do about Papyrus, and explained me that go through Undyne would be as though as, or even worse, since she is the actual head of the royal guard — and joked about how much Papyrus is her friend at the same time that he wants her to fail or die, so he can assume her status. He gave me a cell phone when he realized I did not have one. I arrived to a Flowey a bit lost in thoughts.

 

—You’re okay?

—Just thinking how we could do it, since you refuse to fight and how many times had Papyrus got you killed already.

 

Not many, but we kept silent.

 

—I got us an ally.

 

Now he’s confused.

 

—I’ve... made friends with Sans.

— **Sans —** he gave me a weird look — _Sans the Skeleton?_ — Flowey said — do you really trust he’s not giving us to Papyrus? Didn’t he kill you before as well?

—We don’t have much choice, and he did die with me yesterday-

— _Excuse me_?

 

This conversation keeps getting weird.

 

—We... perceived each other? — I said, as Flowey gave me a suspicious gaze — it’s been a while since I do try to get closer to him... and he did wrong me a couple times, but I think we can trust him now.

—I say we can’t.

—I mean it. He died with me, or for me. His brother found us on his sentry yesterday and...

—Okay spare me the details about your death, I’ve seen it happen I know how it works.

—Yea but... He killed Sans first... Because Sans tried to protect me...

 

Flowey kept the look but seemed to comprehend. I seated on the bed beside him.

 

—What were you even doing on his sentry? — he arched a eyebrow for me, I blushed —ok, forget, what is the plan? — Flowey asked, giggling at me, I'm so relieved to see him opening a smile, even a small one, to joke about me.

—He’s looking for a better place to keep us, somewhere safer; he said we can’t stay on the Inn for too long.

—He’s absolutely right on this one, soon we will run out of gold or some other monster will give your location to Papyrus, I'm surprised the bunny lady even let you rent it.

—We never lasted more than one night anyways... So we’re still not spending that much gold... — I replied — but Sans referred to another monster, something like a ghost.

—Oh yes, Napstablook. He was sad, but not evil, I don’t know what happened to him, he’s gone for a while already. I thought that, as sad as he is, this world would break him easily, but he did not change much, besides stop showing up on the ruins... or anywhere at all... I actually thought he were dead or something like that... Suicide? It sounds stupid now, as a ghost he cannot die.

—And he has a house, that’s probably safer than here.

—But it’s in Waterfall, how are we supposed to go there without fighting Papyrus?

—That’s... Where the plan dies, and we don’t even know if he’s still there.

 

Flowey nodded as a silence settled between us. I laid in the bed, hearing the groans and snores from the room aside. I slept thinking about him, about the pain he probably felt at dying, I don’t think he’s as familiar with it as I am, even though it’s something you never get used to; I thought about the feelings that wrap us and how much we were getting closer after all that had already gone, because he does remember every reset, he does live in the same timelapses me and Flowey do, somehow; I thought about what it means, if it does mean something.

 

 

I woke up at 9 am with his message telling me Papyrus did show up on his sentry, and he got through that easily, but not uninjured. I felt uneasy with the comment, but he forbidden me to leave the Inn yet, even after I asked to meet him. Sans said he wasn’t sure about the path Papyrus was taking and he did not want to take the risk of me meeting him halfway, he said that Papyrus recalibrated and adjusted his puzzles once more. I agreed.

 

“ _wait where you are, I’ll meet ya as soon as I’m sure everything is okay”_

Was the last message I received from him, before hearing Papyrus voice on the Inn’s lobby. Flowey heard it too and I hid him before Papyrus shouts the door open, looking at me. So that’s it, the Inn’s lady **_does_** call him if I don’t leave early. Papyrus grabbed me by the hair and brought me near his face, looking me through the eyes.

I heard Flowey gasp, but thank God Papyrus didn’t notice him.

 

—THE LADY ASKED ME NOT TO MESS THIS ROOM.

 

He threw me out the window, I landed on the snow outside, it was a 2 floor premise, I felt my leg broke, but as painful as it was, I stood up as best as I could while Papyrus was coming downstairs to reach me on the ground. He pushed me by the neck, suffocating me, I tried to flee myself from him, but not using one leg does not make it a simple task; all the show of blood and horror took place _in the middle_ of the town. Some adult monsters didn’t even mind the way Papyrus was ripping me apart, even though I noticed the panic in some of the kids-monsters eyes. I could barely see when Sans showed up out of nowhere in front of me when Papyrus had my heart on his hands.

Sans took my body before it fell on the snow.

I think he teleported, he looked at me as Papyrus started screaming with him, Sans did not mind. He had a huge crack on the right top of his skull, and I could see his arms’ bones were a bit broken as well when he took my body closer, sorry I can’t move, I want to console you though, don’t look at me like this. Papyrus approached, and I think he was about to kill Sans.

I felt my soul shatter.

 

 

 

 

We were back on the outside of the Inn, at night.

This time I did not even see when Sans came closer and took us to the sentry once again.

 

 

—What happened?

—I think the Inn owner informed our location to Papyrus as soon as he arrived back in Snowdin and-

—Ok I don’t need to know the rest of the story, I can assume it.

 

I need to learn where to stop when they ask this to me, Flowey did not want to hear the bloodshed as well. I wouldn’t too.

I kept silent as he grabbed my arms and sank his skull in my shoulder, he seemed _frustrated_. I kept still, and for a second I wished that he did not have this power, I wished he wasn’t in the same time as me, I usually wish the same for Flowey, so I could spare them this suffering. But I'm assuming he cares, I assume he does feel something, I assume he doesn’t want me to die, I assume he likes me.

Maybe I'm assuming too much.

But I... Do I...

 

Do I love him?


	11. ghost-house

I was back in my room once again, and I already knew what the beginning of the morning was, but not what I was supposed to do next. Sans’ did not send another message as I got ready to leave. I could not even wait until 10 am. And it was around 9:20 am when Sans just showed up inside the room, Flowey got scared, but I asked him not to alarm the Inn’s owner. Sans grabbed the backpack and put it on his back, even if I felt he did not enjoy Flowey so much. He then grabbed me by the waist in the exact moment we heard Papyrus downstairs.

 

We were gone.

 

 

 

We were in a very different environment; it was warmer, darker with a cold natural light.

 

—Wait wait wait — Flowey started — how...? You told him it last night?

—What — I asked, getting my backpack, Sans wasn’t very gentle about it, Flowey frowned.

—How you convinced him to appear so early? — he whispered to me.

—I told him what happens — I said, looking at Sans and back at Flowey — he... knows the resets.

—He.... what? — Flowey was a bit more pissed, Sans looked at him — You serious?

—Yes... that’s how I managed to befriends with him... I... think... — somehow... explaining this seemed wrong, and I got unsure.

—Since when? — Flowe asked.

 

But I felt like he wasn’t talking to me anymore.

 

—Since when Sans?

 

But Sans did not answer.

 

In front of us was ghost-like house — there were 2 of them; but Sans knocked the left house’s door. A ghost, literally a blanket-type ghost, showed up opening the door, looking at us. He said nothing as he opened and let us in. Sans scratched the back of his skull as me and Flowey started looking around his house, there were only one TV, a computer, a couple CD cases and a fridge — Flowey was still concerned.

 

—What have you done? — the ghost asked, in a slow, sad voice.

—Screwed some shit up, but I'm still figuring it out.

—Isn’t she supposed to be the last soul?

 

Sans kept silent.

 

—Not like we deserve it — he finally said.

—oh... — the ghost said — so... this area is full of Alphys’ cameras, and Waterfall has Undyne...

—It’s still safer than Snowdin with me... And Papyrus, the city is full of monsters trying to give her location to Boss.

—What made you change though?

 

Sans looked at me, and I turned to face him as well.

 

—Look — the ghost started — she can stay, I always felt uneasy about the whole killing-humans-thing, but you’ll need to figure things up, keep her sometimes, and feed her, and I don’t think she would appreciate sleeping on the floor... Oh I'm a terrible host.

—Don’t worry — I said — you’re saving me, thanks.

 

The ghost blushed a bit, I think.

 

—I will take care of all this, we don’t plan on staying much too — the ghost gave him a confused gaze — we need to get her out the underground.

—You seriously plan on going through Asgore?

—I don’t know yet, we’ll see what we can do... but _thanks_.

—Don’t worry — the ghost said, kinda impressed, but seemed happy.

 

Sans got closer to me as the ghost gave Flowey a little plant-pot to put him inside. Flowey looked and accepted, with a small smile — I feel lighter every time he does that; and I'm feeling a lot lighter to know there’s someone else to trust. I put my backpack on the ground, but Sans took it again and offered me a hand, I took it, he waved Flowey, who seemed cautious, or maybe uneasy, but said nothing. The ghost opened the door for me and Sans to go, telling me he’ll go out for a while, but would leave the door open. I nodded, Flowey would have the house all for himself for a while.

 

—What’s your name? — I asked the ghost.

—Oh... — he seemed flustered —N-Napstablook — he finally said, Sans just giggled at it.

—Nice to meet you, I'm Frisk — I said.

—Oh... Nice to meet you, Frisk.

—C’mon Doll, time to go shopping— said Sans.

 

And we left.

 

_Sans’ POV_

I wasn’t even sure Napstablook would accept my phone call, who could imagine help me like that, and we don’t even talk that much, we never did. I called him last night, ‘cause I know in the morning I should have no time. He answered with a strange tone, of course. I never called him before. The only thing I said was that I had the human, and wanted to hide her, he said “oh”, kept a silence and told me he would be there in the next morning, that it was okay. I did not ask twice, but decided to thank him.

That’s been ages since a “thanks” drop out my lips.

 

—Where are we going?

—Turtle shop, he usually keeps secret of his clients, and also will sell things for you, then we can enjoy a bench.

—You know I don’t understand a word, right?

 

I couldn’t resist a giggle as we were just outside Napstablook’s house. I fear the cameras ‘tho.

 

—C’mere.

 

I took out my jacket, making her wear it. She left a giggle as I put the hood on her head, my jacket was way too big on her tiny body, and seemed like a dress, but it was better than her face showing up. I gave her my hand, she took it and we kept walking. Right on the other side of a small lake were a save-star, where she managed to save right away, and we turned right for the Gerson’s shop, the turtle.

She bought a bunch of crab-apples and some cans of sea tea, it could last a couple days, until we figured some shit up. Looking at her right now makes me think when, how and why did I get interested on her. She’s cute, I know she is, always knew, but that was never the point anyways, also, the view of her dead body a couple times can mess this up, she looked back at me when she were done with the shopping there, I turned, so she could put everything on the backpack.

 

—Ok, what now? — she asked.

—Wait, am I the boss now? — I messed.

 

She giggled a bit.

 

—I want to spend some time, just need to go at one of my sentry’s here in waterfall take some mustard for me and I’ll take ya’ to a place. I'm pretty sure there’s no cameras there.

—Seems good.

—But —I interrupted — my sentry here is surrounded by a couple monsters, so I need you to wait a minute there — she nodded — I’ll also buy some cinnamons and other food for ya’ or you okay with just crab apples?

—I’d like another Grillby’s burger.

—Oh, that’ll have to wait.

 

I took her again by the waist and teleported her to a small, isolated bench. It was there for a long time, and I never saw someone else there, besides myself. I released her there and she gave me a smile before I leave. She would be safe there, that I know for sure. There’s still a lot to manage ‘tho, but I felt a bit lighter, and a lil’ more determined.

 

I teleported.


	12. places to go

I arrived at my sentry, there were a monster right beside it, messing with the echoflower, saying shit about a human hidden in the underground, and that killing her would release us. I got 2 bottles of mustard trying hard not to scream for him to shut the fuck up. Most of this monsters deserve to be trapped here, most of the monster I know, even myself do; it made me sick to think that a couple months ago, when she just showed up, I was exactly like this lil’ shit. That’s probably it ‘tho. I teleported to the bunny lady shop, buying a couple cinnamon buns and bisicle’s, she looked me suspicious.

 

—Since when you eat something other than Grillby’s stuff?

—You bet I prefer Grillby’s food — I answered, harsh — but I will stay on my sentry in waterfall for a couple days, before going to the sentry in Hotland, since the human is missing — I made that out.

—Not eating the turtle food?

—I don’t like sea food — I made that out too.

 

She was acting annoying, but I do not want her on my ass just because news travels fast in this goddamn place, and her sister on the Inn already showed me how much a fucking gossip they both can be. I would buy Grillby’s food, since that’s what sweetheart really asked and liked, but not right now, since I don’t want any more eyes around her or me and most monsters on Grillby place are guards — worse than that, they’re **dogs** , and they can smell things pretty good. I arrived at my room to look for a jacket for her, since giving mine would be a bit suspicious, monsters are used to see me with that. Lucky fella me found a really old blue one I think I don’t use since forever... even ‘tho I do remember the last time I used it. I took it, before going back to her.

 

The old blue jacket gave me a warm feeling even though it smelled like the lab.

But I still have my lab coat, so I shouldn’t complain about this one.

 

 

 

 

_Frisk’s POV_

 

 

The ability to teleport is something I still need to get used, it’s like changing places while a blink, but it is still pretty weird when everything around changes so fast, even the temperature. I sited on the bench beside a blue flower, I never saw a blue one here in the underground, never a glowing in the whole world as well, I touched it, thinking what type of smell should it have, but I could listen to something coming from it... it was a low voice.

 

_“I just wasn’t ready for the responsibility”_

 

I heard it, and kept silence, as I don’t think I'm used to talking flowers, or maybe I do am, I talk o Flowey all the time, but this one did not seem alive, and as I touch it again, the voice just repeats.

 

—It’s an _echoflower_ — Sans said, showing up suddenly — it repeats the last thing you say to it.

 

Now it was repeating Sans, the actual first voice was gone.

 

—Was it your voice?

—Nah — he said — I don’t talk my thoughts — I kept silent — here, try this one.

 

Sans gave me another jacket, a blue and simple hoodie, I took of the one I was wearing before, returning it, and tried the new one. It was as big as the first one, but did not seem like a dress, I could see a bit of my shorts this time. He pulled the hoodie, checking if it hides my face, I kept analysing his expressions when he finally noticed it, giving me a corner smile, I smiled back. The flower now was repeating a “ _try this one_ ”. I laugh, it started repeating my laugh.

He seated, putting a couple cinnamon buns and what I think was popsicles in my backpack. I seated again with him. He gazed me when he was done and pushed me closer. Every time he does that I blush, every time he acts protective, or possessive, I'm not even sure, I rested my head on his shoulder, the only thing now to be hear was the sound of the flowing water in front of us, we managed to leave Snowdin and keep alive because of him, but if it was this easy to leave, he would help, I think.

 

—You can teleport anywhere?

—Almost — he said — I can’t teleport out, I can’t go in the ruins and I can’t go places I don’t know.

—You can drop us at the exit of the underground? — I asked.

—Never been there — he said — I can teleport us pretty close, in the castle’s hall, but it would not help so much.

—Why?

—We’d still have to fight Asgore, and I'm pretty sure you can’t just go through the barrier.

 

I remained silent even though I did not get it. I am a human, how I can’t pass it? Does it need magic? Sans took the hood out so he could see my face again, he wasn’t smiling, just seemed... lost in thought. I try smiling at him, it did not work, so my own expression got worried. He brought me closer, putting his other hand on my cheeks, I thought he were about to kiss me, but he didn’t.

 

—I see why you don’t want to stay, ‘tho — he said.

 

I felt a bit broken. That’s not this simple, I want to go out... — _I looked at him in the eyes_ — but... I also want **you**... to go with me? Does it make sense? I made the move this time, and pulled him through the shirt so I could give him a kiss, our lips touched slowly, and I was feeling uneasy, but he intertwined his fingers on my hair once again, and my body relaxed a bit, it was a longer kiss than the first time. We got apart slowly, and he kept his forehead touching mine, not opening his eyes.

 

—Is there — I started — a way to free you?

—Monsterkind does not deserve it, you would bring this war to your world — he said.

—Everyone deserve freedom, but that’s not what I asked...

 

He looked me in the eyes.

 

—Oh, you meant _me_ — I nodded as he opened an eye to look at me —I don’t think so — he closed his eye again — I gave up on this shit years ago, even after we got the 5 th soul.

 

I kept silent, he slowly opened his eyes to gaze me, and then he decided to give me another small kiss, this one I wasn’t prepared, and when I thought about closing my eyes, he was already apart again, I puff my cheeks as he gave me a cocky smile. We looked like a couple right now. The echoflower repeated the “ _I don’t think so_ ” and we got a bit more serious once again. I want to free you, if I can’t free everyone I want to free **you**.

 

—I’ll tell you ‘bout it — he said — about how to get out, and about the barrier.

 

My eyes widened a bit.

 

—But — he started once again — _you’re not gonna like it_.


	13. monster soul

—You know about the war?

—No.

—Wait — he stopped — there’s the war against the humans, that trapped us here, and the one Asgore says we fight, that’s the reason why your head is like, a super-prize right now.

—I don’t know any of them.

—So the humans do not talk about the ancient war?

—People say there are monsters in the Mt. Ebott, but they never told it like a serious thing, I thought it was just a legend, something so the children would not climb or get too far in the forest.

— _Surprise!_ — he said, I smiled —There was a war, a hellot’ of years ago, between monsters and humans, ‘cause of the power of a Soul. Our soul, a monster soul, usually does not survive outside the body as much as your human soul’s do. At the same time, a human cannot absorb a soul, as much as us monsters have this capacity. That’s where humans became concern, because a monster that absorbs a human soul, would be one of the most powerful creatures that ever lived.

—And humans fear what they don’t understand.

—I’d say they fear what can threaten ‘em — Sans said — a human soul is too powerful, they say that a single human soul is more powerful than all our monster souls together. But yea, there was a war about it, too many years ago, I wasn’t even born, so for me it’s a story as well. But we live here, it reminds us what happened in a daily basis.

—I'm sorry.

 

Sans looked at me, ignoring my comment, and stroking my hair.

 

—So yea, there was this war, and our own war against humans. I don’t know when this world turn to be as it is right now, but I heard it was when the king lost both his _son and daughter,_ and I do know it used to be good... maybe not good, but peaceful.

—That seems like something that would make a man go mad — I reminded, somehow, the picture Toriel had back on the ruins, but I kept silent.

 

Sans kept a strange silence, and somewhere inside me, I sensed a little family issue.

 

—His daughter was a human, the first human that ever fell, and he and the lost queen treated her as their own — once more Toriel’s picture shows up in my head — he lost the girl to illness, and his son, who was probably the lil’ girl best friend, I don’t know how brotherhood worked back there... he...  absorbed her soul, so he could carry her body back to the human world, where she would be able see the golden flowers she loved so much. Story says the humans on the village killed the boy, attacking him, thinking he killed the girl. The king’s son, who refused to fight, died. Then... Well, queen got crazy about the loss of both kids and disappeared, monsterkind lost hope, and the king decided to go for revenge or something. We should kill every human that shows up here, and the souls would be collected.

—How did the boy leave? It should break the barrier, right?

—No, and here’s the point for your “situation”... there’s only 2 ways out: seven human souls, so it would be gone; or a human and a _monster soul_ , so the living creature that have both can leave.

—Wait, so-

—If you wish to leave sweetheart, you’ll need a monster soul.

 

That broke me as I kept staring at his gaze.

I’m pretty sure he heard my shattered pieces falling on the ground.

 

—And not a simple monster soul — he started, again — there are few monster with a soul strong enough to live a couple seconds before shattering, so **you** could grab the soul and leave.

—Sans-

—Boss monsters — he interrupted me — as our own king, Undyne, Papyrus-

—STOP-

—Or me — he interrupted, again.

 

He could have stopped there, **I know it** , I understood, I can see the difference between common monsters and them since Toriel, I know when they’re powerful enough, or different. I saw exclusively when Papyrus killed him that his soul lasted a little. Sans was looking at me, I know he was, but I was looking at the echoflower. I did not touch it, but I know it was bound to repeat the “or me” Sans just said.

 

—There is the problem — he brought again — look at you, your way all along, you will need to fight.

—I won’t — I said, in a tremble voice.

—If you want to leave, it’s a **must**.

—Then I'm staying.

—You _must_ be shitting me right now — he was angry.

—I can’t do it Sans!

—Welp, I can, so-

—No! — I shouted, and he stopped, looking at me, still mad — I don’t want anyone to die, it is not _worth it_.

—Doll, it is your only way out, not like any monster would do the same for you, it’s more than worth, it’s _FAIR_.

—We will think about something, something else — I said, sounding more foolish than I wanted to — anything else, but we’re not hurting anyone.

—What did this monster do to actually deserve your mercy Frisk?

—I have you, and Napstablook, and Flowey.

—Frisk I MEAN it.

—They don’t need to deserve, it’s about... — I stopped, to think, to gather my pieces together — it’s about not changing who I am...

 

I remembered my reflection in Toriel’s mirror.

Sans, for once, seems to understand this part in particular. The whole underground got crazy and declared war for one thing that happened, there was suffering everywhere you could look because of this war as much as there was war everywhere because of the suffering, not a single monster escaped the cycle, not even Sans, but me? I don’t want to be part of it. Everyone changes to adapt to the underground and the world they live, and I will not become like them. This will not corrupt me as well. I felt determined as the save-star in Sans chain _SAVED_ for me.

 

—You’re filled with determination — Sans said — congrats Doll, you managed to use it.

 

Sans bent over me, pushing me closer and kissing me, and this time was different, he was more... warm, more avid and wishful, maybe even longing. I enlaced my arms around his neck as I felt my body lay slowly, my back making an arc towards him. I wished him, I care and I like... and I love him. I will not fool myself about it, somehow I do, I love him, somewhere around this whole mess of blood and resets and my soul on the matter I fell for him.

 

_Ring... Ring..._

 

He broke our contact and I didn’t even realize I was missing my breath, I kept my eyes closed and hands holding firm his jacket around his neck, my head is spinning, and I'm sure I'm not used to all this. He pushed my head closer as well and I realized he was as breathless as I am, we calmed at the same time, with my head sank on his neck and jacket. He started stroking my hair as I took my arms back. His cellphone was still ringing.

 

—It’s Paps — he said, checking the screen — time to go.


	14. tying knots

_Sans’ POV_

—What? — I answered the fucking phone, after leaving sweetheart directly inside Napstablook’s house and teleported away.

—WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? AREN’T YOU **SUPPOSE** TO BE AT YOUR FUCKING SENTRY?

—Chill, I just got out to have a snack, I'm going back — I was wearing my jacket again.

 

Papyrus kept screaming at the way I do my job when I arrived at my sentry in Waterfall.

 

—What the fuck you’re even talking about I’m at my sentry right now.

—NO, I AM AT YOU FUCKING SENTRY.

—Paps, you know I’ll work at the Waterfall sentry from now on until we find the human, unless someone sees her at Hotland, then I’ll move, _right_?

 

Of course he doesn’t, not cause he’s stupid, what for god sake he is a bit, but because he never cared to pay attention on what I fucking do of my — as he says — miserable life. I teleported to where he was anyways, and he was screaming like fucking crazy about the human, and it is at this point I forget that, even though it’s been at least a month already, in the actual timeline, it was 2 days ago when she first showed up. Papyrus discovered her going through his puzzles yesterday.

 

—THE INN LADY CALLED ME, TELLING THE HUMAN WAS THERE, IT WASNT! — I knew that — SHE SAID SHE WAS IN THE ROOM BUT I FOUND NOTHING — I also know that — BUT SHE DESCRIBED THE HUMAN, IT SHOULD NOT BE FAR — wait what?

—Oh yea? — I said, more interested than usual.

—THE HUMAN IS GIRL, FEMALE, I DONT KNOW. SHORT DARK-BROWN HAIR, NOT SO TALL, PURPLE AND BLUE STRIPED SHIRT WITH LONG LEAVES, A BROWN SHORT, BLACK TIGHTS AND BOOTS. SO, I DOUBT YOU WILL ‘CAUSE YOU’RE TOO MUCH OF AN USELESS TRASH, BUT IF YOU **HAPPEN** TO SEE AT LEAST **TRY** TO CAPTURE IT.

 

He started heavy stepping out as I teleported back to my waterfall sentry, drinking one of my bottles of mustard. I was saving to drink it in a meal with sweetheart, but guess that’s not happening right now. It took a couple minutes for Undyne to show up and pass through me, probably just heard the report from Papyrus as well.

 

—You already know it right?

—Yea — I replied — noisy bro already brought the news.

—Sans — Undyne started the bullshit again — I know you’re stronger than you say you are, even with that HP, you could be an amazing royal guard.

—Not interested.

—This sentry shit job will waste you.

—I like it.

—I MEAN IT — she started being noisy as well — WE ALL KNOW WHAT YOU’VE ALREADY DONE, WHY THE FUCK YOU KEEP LAZYING AROUND LIKE THIS? ARE YOU WHAT YOUR BROTHER REALLY SAY YOU ARE?

—Welp, he is the one sharing house with me, must know me better.

—Oh, he knows _nothing_ about the shit-show that gone up in the lab because of you when he was young.

—Undyne.

—He knows _nothing_ about the blood on your hands.

— _shut the fuck up_ — I stood, with my eye glowing.

 

I never gave permission for people to at least **get** in this subject before or after the lab was closed and reopened with Alphys, and today is **not** this day. She stepped back, between frustrated and satisfied to see the lab shit still gets my nerves.

 

—The royal guard could use some of this side of yours.

 

She left.

Gosh I could use her soul to take sweetheart out of here **without thinking twice**.

I could use any of their souls.

 

 

_Frisk’s POV_

 

 

Napstablook left a minute ago, telling me he was going to mess around and check the snails, giving me and Flowey some privacy. He explained that at first he kept them like a farm, then he started selling them for the caretaker of the ruins — Toriel, and I happen to know by now she does eat them — and he told me that, when the ruins became a horror show as much as it is now, he started to just deliver without meeting her. The snails are running out though, so soon he’ll be unemployed.

He said he’s lucky he does not need food or sleep.

 

I kept inside with Flowey when he left.

 

—How was the date?

—Flowey, stop.

—You don’t fool me, I know there’s something, I wasn’t born today, I'm here for longer than you think — he said, actually acting like a kid.

 

I giggled anyways.

 

—It was nice if you care to know— I said, and he looked surprised for a moment — but wasn’t a date, we just got me a bunch of food and a hoodie, and talked about the circumstances of me leaving.

—What do you mean?

—He... explained me about the seven souls needed to break the barrier, or I would need a human and a monster soul to cross. Only 2 ways out.

—Wow... I didn’t know that — Flowey said — how does he know that?

—I... don’t know...

 

I don’t know which of both got me more surprised: the fact that Flowey didn’t know, or that Sans did. I didn’t know for sure, and I absolutely did not talk to a lot of monsters or explored so much to find it out. Flowey said that he knew about the seven human souls, but he did not know about a human leaving by its own, he also knew about a monster being able to leave as soon as it absorbs a human soul, but he believed a human could just leave — he turned it out more as a monologue to himself, and then became uneasy. I decided not to ask much. I could ask Sans eventually, probably.

I hope he is okay.

 

—I’m here for so long I never bothered to know more about the barrier, I just took it for granted — Flowey brought it up again.

—How long? — I asked.

 

Flowey remained silent for a while.

 

—Since the beginning I think? Back when the underground was... merciful... and good.

—So... you lived the story? — Flowey arched an eyebrow for me — Sans told me... about the king’s son and daughter.

—Oh... yea... — he said — I saw it happen.

—How was it? — I decided to ask.

—Tough times, long story short, she was a sweet little girl, and it were happy times, we would never think her... loss... would drag the whole underground to this state of disgrace.

—You met her? Them both?

—Yes — he said, with a sad smile.

 

As much as I felt it was time to stop this conversation, there was still one thing I wanted to be sure.

 

—Flowey... Toriel is the lost queen, isn’t she?

 

Flowey looked at me, not that much impressed I brought the pieces together.

 

—Yes, she is. She couldn’t deal with the fact she lost them both, and she disapproved the king’s decision, but her state of loneliness drove her crazy as every human that fell were killed by... the man I still believe she loves... or what’s left of him. So when the count achieved 6 human souls, she started killing them herself, and destroying the souls, so the underground would never be freed. It’s been years since a human stepped out the ruins, and long periods of time between each human.

—Does any other monster knows it? That she is there and alive?

—I don’t think so, maybe Napstablook does; he and the spiders are the only things that can go back and forth the Ruins... and me.

 

I decided it was time to stop and in the next minute Napstablook arrived, Flowey could leave the ruins by his own, so he chose to be there? When I arrived? Or is there the best place with chances of survivor? I'm not sure anymore. I wanted to ask him about the room, but all the conversation seemed like a sad memory for him, and it weighed my heart. Besides that, I'm really glad he was there all along. His presence in my timelapse made me keep my sanity.

 

Him, and Sans.


	15. madness scale

_Sans’ POV_

 

 

I knew she hit my nerves, but I'm already in my seventh bottle of mustard — besides the two I had, I teleported home and brought more. What annoys me more isn’t the fact she knows, and to hell if she ever tells Papyrus to be sincere, but I wasn’t meant to do what I did, things didn’t mean to go as it did, and _she wasn’t even there_. Alphys could know... But Undyne, as a woman weirdly in love with the actual royal scientist — also known by me as mad scientist Alphys — would not put me in the line of danger for her loved one.

It also sounded as an excuse so she can save Alphys skin, and murder me, turning her the strongest piece of shit in this barren land.

 

 

But she did remind me something important about the true lab.

 

 

Oh gosh I don’t want to put my feet inside that crappy place.

I also know **that** is probably the only thing capable of killing Frisk.

 

 

I threw my eighth and last bottle of mustard out, it was already 9 pm, I haven’t seen my girl since early morning, but I'm not sure I'm in condition to pay a visit, I'm mad, I'm clearly and undoubtedly mad. I teleported back home where Papyrus was crashing everything in the living room, chairs where turned to firewood, the table was bitten in half, he just noticed me there when he was about to throw the television through the window.

 

—IT’S YOUR FAULT, YOU PIECE OF TRASH.

—Excuse me? — there we go again.

—YOU HAVE ONE JOB: WATCH FOR HUMANS TRESPASSING! THAT WAS ALL YOU NEEDED TO DO AND I COULD BEAT HER AND BE THE HEAD OF THE ROYAL GUARD. NOW THE HUMAN IS GONE AND EVEN YOU WERE ALREADY TRANSFERRED TO WATERFALL BECAUSE THE LITTLE HUMAN _BITCH_ PROBABLY IS NOT ON MY LANDS ANYMORE.

 

He came to my direction, throwing bones and magic that I could easily dodge. I'm not in the mood to any of his bullshit today. He grabbed me and, easy to say he almost broke my right shoulder bones, and he also made a crack on my right cheek, I slapped his fists of and teleported to my room — where I'm sure he can’t go inside, even tho’ he punched the door like crazy. The sound of his fists in my door continued as I looked at my wounds, I'm pretty sure he’ll take revenge of this tomorrow.

He would be proud to know how many times he _actually killed_ her, and to know he could put me on his score as well, he always wanted me gone anyways. I looked around my room for something to heal, finding some med-kit-shit closer to the drawer — oh yea, I got her that old hoodie I barely used...

 

Fuck it.

She’s **all** I need right now.

 

_Frisk’s POV_

 

It was around 11pm, I was laid on the ground with Flowey beside me, even though Napstablook said he does not sleep, he decided to unite with us. Flowey did not take long to fall asleep. But I kept awake with Napstablook, I sensed the room transforming into outer space for a while, I'm pretty sure I saw some stars, I grabbed Sans hoodie to use it as a pillow, but Sans showed up out of nowhere, and in a jump I sited again, I noticed the crack on his cheek bones, even if he tried to hide it inside the hood, he seemed... troubled.

 

—Sans...? — I asked, and just then Napstablook noticed him there.

—Oh, you came to give her a better place to sleep? — Napstablook asked — I don’t think the flower will have problems sleeping in the vase so-

—Don’t worry — Sans said, a bit harsh, interrupting.

—Sans are you-

 

He interrupted me as well and grabbed me by the waist, and we were gone.

 

 

We reappeared at his first sentry again, he just released me and started looking for something in the boxes inside his sentry, he was silent... and that scared me. I slowly touched his shoulder and he left out a little grunt, pushing the shoulder back and giving up on the boxes, sitting and pushing the hood to hide his face. I crouched in front of him, slowly taking his hands out the hood fabric, he grabbed it more firmly.

 

—Sans... It’s okay...

 

He changed from the hood to my wrist and I took the hood of, he had a crack on the cheekbones, I slowly slipped the tip of my fingers on it as his hands travel all the way to my waist — which I think is his favorite part of my body; he did not react, he didn’t even look at me since he showed up in Napstablook’s house. I approached slowly and kissed it, not like it would heal him, but so he could at least relax a bit. His expression did not change.

 

—I have a spider donut inside the box — I said — you can wait here an-

—No — he interrupted — you don’t need to do it.

—Sans it’s just around the corner and I-

—I know you’ll say you have more food and shit with you, I don’t care, and I don’t want it.

 

We kept silent as I was trying not to cry, and he noticed.

 

—You’re a bit of a cry-baby, aren’t you doll?

—I don’t want you to pass through this...

—It’s not your fault, I should actually be used to it by now.

—Which is even worse.

 

His expression softened as he tried to smile at me, he took the hoodie of, then the scarf and searched his pockets for a small bandage roller. I understood it was worse than he let me know. At last he took of the shirt, which made me blush a bit, even though he was... well, bones; he kept the save-star. His right shoulder had a huge crack, and even small pieces were missing, I could see a bit of dust as well.

 

—Can you? — he asked, giving me the bandages and a little pot of pomade.

 

I nodded as he turned to one side and closed his eyes. I took care of the wound, slowly enough so he would not feel pain, that’s probably why he grunted when I touched his shoulder. I felt... really bad about all this. He told me it’s not my fault, but somehow I sense it was, I rolled the bandage in his shoulder and he opened his eyes, not looking at me, dressing his shirt again, he did not mind the hoodie or the scarf though, and leaned on the sentry wood, opening space for me to  lean on his other shoulder.

I did.

 

—Why does he treat you like that?

—Dunno, ‘cause he can, I think — he replied.

—He’s stronger than you?

—Not really, but I don’t have the guts to beat the crap out of him.

—Because he’s your brother... That’s... the normal, I think.

—Not here.

 

I kept silent.

 

He sighed, stroking my hair. He seemed lost in so much thoughts.

 

—He wasn’t always like that.


	16. sleep, sweetie

_Sans’ POV_

 

It was getting too much into a side of me I don’t talk about since forever, probably. I kept silent and Frisk didn’t seem to care about it. I like the way she usually respects personal space, she probably knew from a certain point that I knew about her resets, but played it cool until frustration took her and we argued at the north of Snowdin, the first kiss we never forget.

I also remember it annoyed me in the beginning.

 

Things change, uh?

 

 

She yawned.

 

—We need to get you a proper bed.

—I’ll be okay — she said — I don’t really mind.

—You could sleep in my room... as long as I'm inside, no one can enter it if I don’t let ‘em.

—Yea? How does it work? — she giggled.

—Key? — I said, hearing her laugh — it does have a key, but it’s not what keeps Papyrus outside — she looked at me — when I'm not inside, it can be open by a key, or in case of good old Papyrus with his feet. But as soon as I get inside I keep it locked with magic, like it’s a wall, not a door.

—Why do you even have a door? You don’t need it.

 

That’s true.

 

—My brother’s not the type of guy who respects my personal space, even tho’ **I better respect his**.

 

I grabbed the hoodie I gave her and put it on her lap, as much as my own hoodie and scarf. I carried her on my arms and teleported us from there. My room was pitch black, she didn’t seem to care about it as long as she could touch me, and we kept holding hands as I launched my stuff on the trash-tornado, but she choose to keep the hoodie I gave her close.

 

—I don’t know how’s it gonna work tomorrow morning, and I can’t see anything.

—there’s not much to see — I said, helping her to find the bed — besides the fact I don’t have blankets right now.

—So I better get inside the hoodie.

 

I giggled at it, and we both lie down on my mattress. I pushed her close and she made herself comfy on my shoulder. It took her a couple minutes to sleep, and I remembered the first time I saw her sleeping on the snow, behind a tiny table, freezing outside. In comparison on what she’s been through, it may be really comfy right now. She landed her hand on my chest and I grabbed it, as soft as I could, she did not wake up.

 

Summing it up, I didn’t even sleep.

 

I spent the whole night awake beside her — I could sleep at work anyways; I just spent my night listening her breathing, stroking her hair, intertwining our fingers, feeling her heartbeat... decorating and learning every line of her calm expression, and falling for them. If she knew how much she holds me on the palm of her hand... welp, she would do nothing, probably, as _pacifist_ as she is...

 

It was around 6am when I took her in my arms without waking her up and teleported her to Napstablook’s house, slowly laying her on the ground and covering her with the hoodie I gave her. Napstablook looked at me and directed me a lil’ smile. I shrugged, teleporting back to my room. Soon Papyrus will overreact at my door, screaming and shit, taking revenge on my attitude from yesterday, I'm better now to deal with it, calm even.

But not her.

 

She does not need to deal with it.

 

I heard his first screams earlier than I thought, and rolled the doorknob.

 

 

_Frisk’s POV_

I woke up around 9am, well rested, but I got a bit surprised to wake up on Napstablook’s house. He told me Sans dropped me early morning, probably because Papyrus was about to wake up and keeping me around would be dangerous... Napstablook told he, for sure, did it to protect me... but who’ll be there to protect **him**? I grabbed my cellphone realizing Flowey was awake at the window.

 

—Had a nice sleep? — he asked softly, with a warm smile.

—Yes — I said, watching his humor improving always made me calm, and his own wounds seemed a bit better.

 

There were no messages on my cellphone, and for some reason that made me worried. He was seriously injured last night, and he was troubled as well, I knew something was wrong. I grabbed the hoodie he gave me and walked towards the door, but Flowey and Napstablook stopped me midway.

 

—I need to know if he’s okay.

—He must be at his sentry in the entrance of Waterfall, and there’s too much cameras and monsters there — Napstablook said — you better stay here, it’s not safe there, not now at least.

—I know, but I need to take the risk. I know something happened, he was troubled last night, you saw it, didn’t you? Napstablook?

—I know but he was okay this morning.

—Yes, but it was before Papyrus wake up.

—I will check it — Flowey said, a bit frowned.

 

Napstablook and I kept silent, but Napstablook told me it was a better idea, since Flowey is a real monster and there will be no problem for him to be seen around, we helped him get out the plant pot and we slightly opened the door so he could cross it, getting his roots inside the soil again.

 

—You sure Flowey? — I asked.

—We’ll not risk your location now, I’ll be back in a moment.

 

He disappeared inside the ground. We left the door slightly open so he could get inside easily, but a couple minutes passed and he did not come back. I was checking my cellphone every minute, it was half an hour later when Flowey emerged on the ground, looking a bit worried.

 

—Frisk... I...

—What? — I asked, getting even more worried.

—I... did not find him. I checked his sentry here and in Snowdin. He’s nowhere. I even saw Papyrus walking in Waterfall direction but Sans is nowhere to be found.

 

My heart weighed, and I'm pretty sure I missed a heartbeat.

 

—I need to go — I grabbed the hoodie again, but Napstablook held me — please, let me-

—He’s the strongest monster on the underground Frisk — Napstablook told me in a low, worried tone — you need to be patient until we’re sure what happened.

—He was injured last night — I felt tears forming on my eyes — and he did refuse my help. I know he’s strong, everyone talks about how strong he is — the tears started falling — but that does not mean he’s immortal. He could never hurt his brother, and Papyrus... — I interrupted myself.

 

I knew I was about to tell Napstablook about Papyrus killing Sans in the past, and I would sound extremely crazy as he saw Sans alive. Flowey closed the door and grabbed my hand, getting inside the plant pot. I did not know what to do, or how to get out of here. I needed to find him, Flowey understood, but... I know they’re doing it to protect me. I know they’re worried as well, but...

He can be... _dead_... now... I don’t want to discover it when it’s too late.

 

 

Then... Sans showed up in the middle of the room.

 

 


	17. wasted

Sans was... **terrible**.

 

 

He showed up in the middle of the room, with half his skull cracked heavily, his left leg bone was broken, I couldn’t see underneath his long leaves shirt, but he had dust _everywhere_. He fell on the ground when we all started panicking. I got his skull on my lap, I couldn’t even control my own tears, Napstablook brought me my backpack and I started trembling looking for something for him to eat, something that would heal him, I got the whole bisicle, but he slowly took my hand, shaking his head as a refusing gesture.

 

—Sans — my voice was failing — please... let me help you...

 

His grip became more firm, but I could see he couldn’t handle anything any longer. _He was about to die_. One simple mistake and he would turn to dust. He already had dust all along his body and shirt, he pointed the save-star on his chain, as if he was telling me to get it.

 

—Sans for _fucks sake_ — I was losing it, my sanity — don’t you fucking **dare** leave me here like this, you hear me? — he opened one of his eyes, I was crying so hard, but he was just... silent, he dragged his hand to touch my cheeks —look at me... if you die here I PROMISE you, I’ll make sure we’re back at that bench, you understand? — he opened both eyes, and now seemed annoyed, but he got my message — please...

 

I gave him the bisicle, and he ate one half and then gave me back the other half. I was checking what more I could give him, but I could hear his voice weakly telling me that half was enough, I don’t know how it works, but he was slowly healing. His leg healed, he grabbed his chest as I think it was healing as well and the crack on his skull started healing, he got his soul — a white, upside down heart — and analysed it as he was fully healed. Just then I allowed myself to breath again. Napstablook and even Flowey seemed to relax as well.

 

—I never wished so hard to kill you until now, doll — he told.

—Go ahead — I joked, he smiled even if I know he was angry.

 

He seated back, checking his body underneath the shirt. I was still thinking how much I lose it when he indicated me to just let him die, I'm also mad he would just let it happen.

 

—You lost the chance of having a soul to leave this hellish place — he joked.

—Not funny — I told — I'm not taking yours.

—What? — Napstablook told.

 

For a second, I even forgot him and Flowey were there.

Flowey knows but, yeah...

 

—Let’s take the rest of this fucking day off — Sans said, giving me his hand. I knew he was about to teleport us, so I took my hoodie.

—Oh, see you guys later — Napstablook said.

—Bring me some water — Flowey said — I’ll have the unisicle left, but a flower needs water.

 

I giggled, taking Sans hand.

 

 

_Sans’ POV_

 

We were back at the bench.

 

—Were you fucking serious, doll? — I asked as she seated.

—About?

—You know what I'm talking about.

—I meant every word.

—You **must** be kidding me.

—Sans, I’m not doing this without you.

—I'm not the only friend you have for fucks sake, you will need a soul to leave, you just lost a huge opportunity. I can’t believe you would die just to reset back for a piece of shit like me.

—Stop! — she shouted.

—No — I shouted back — explain me goddamit!

—Do I even need to explain? You’re not any friend... You’re not just a friend.

 

That hit me harder than... Well, Papyrus in this case. I seated beside her, I felt like my head would explode at any second.

 

—I told you I'm not taking a life to leave this place. I have no idea how or where to go — she started, trying to look at me — you, Flowey and Napstablook are all I have, you think I'm okay on losing any of you as a ticket to leave? You mean to me more than freedom.

—Welp, freedom mean to them more than you.

 

I was being harsh, I know it.

 

—I'm sorry.

 

She finally said it, and it annoyed the hell out of me. I sighed, rubbing my forehead, and proclaiming her lap as my pillow for today. Our gaze met as she slipped her fingertips in every trace of my face. It was worth to live if I get a moment like this every now and then, I know I should be thankful, but I'm so tired of all this. She gave me a kiss on the forehead. But I grabbed her by the hair so I could kiss her lips.

These little moments fills me with peace...

 

And determination.

 

 

—Don’t do it again — she said.

—What?

—Don’t... die on me...

—Not like I wanted it the first time... I may say I bought the fight with Paps yesterday.

—Sans please — I felt her tear fall in my skull — I don’t want to lose you.

 

I couldn’t say anything as I opened my eyes looking at her. The tears was just a detail, she was really sad, she got this same look in her eyes when Papyrus killed me before, I took her hair out of her face as she tried to stop the tears from falling, she was really trying to be strong about this, but it’s getting easier for me to see, everyday, how scared she is about it all, I was trying to think of something, anything, to tell her... but my mind went blank...

 

—I’m sorry — the words came dry from my trout.

 

She was still fighting her tears, that was breaking my heart.

 

—Hey — I poked her nose — what do skeletons say before they begin dining?

 

She almost smiled.

 

—C’mon, what do we say?

—I don’t know — she said, giving me a smile between all that sad face.

— _Bone-appetit_.

 

She started laughing, genuinely. Papyrus never laughs at my jokes, and I stopped telling them when he started reacting violently, I used to practice them with Grillby, which seems to enjoy my shit and company, but I believe he does not smile at all — even though I see the difference when his flames bright lighter. Her tears stopped and, in a second, all those years spent in stupid puns were worth it.

Gosh, I could stay here like this forever.

 

She calmed as I closed my eyes to concentrate on her touch.

 

—You know why skeletons are terrible liars?

—No — I answered.

—Cause everyone can _see through_ them.

 

 

I laughed in a way I haven’t in a long time, she joined me on that. She was good! I brought her close once again, so I could kiss her. It’s a reward, I'm really proud. I kissed her on the tip of her nose, then on her cheeks and finally reached for the lips that were still smiling. I like them like this, she left a low giggle come out of her lips when I got comfy on her lap, I could still feel her soft hand caressing my skull when she started to hum a low melody, I never heard her singing... and I won’t today.

 

After a whole night caring and watching her sleep — even with all the shit I ended up confronting this morning; I fell asleep. I could still hear her voice on my dreams, like a sweet lullaby, and a music box playing on the background, too far from us, but I knew it all too well.

 

 

I know where to take sweetheart tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .......... so....  
>  thanks for the support! ♡   
> this is for you guys: https://goo.gl/DsdcFg 
> 
> I did this drawing a while ago, I pretend to do a couple related to the story, but for now it's just a "hey do you want to see it?"


	18. nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to put it on Wingdings.......... as you may notice, I failed :C  
> sorry...

 

_You won’t be able to save her, you know it, right?_

 

_(—Sans...!...)_

_She’s doomed, and it’ll be your fault._

 

_(—SANS!)_

 

_Y O U R . F A U L T_

 

 

—SANS! — I heard her screaming — SANS! **PLEASE** WAKE UP!

 

I jumped from her lap, and the first thing I saw was my own Gaster blaster with blank eyes, pointing towards her and ready to shoot, I knew it was too late to just cancel the magic, so I just jumped on it, closing its mouth and changing its direction, causing a small muffled explosion, then making it vanish and looking at her...

_What the fuck have I done?_

 

Frisk was on the ground, kneeling and spiting blood; she had a bone pinned on her back.

 

I ran towards her, she had cuts, bruises and blood everywhere, her shirt was almost completely red and the bone crossed her on the belly, showing up on the front side as well. Her face was covered in blood at the left side, and her left eye was bruised and red, her other eye was fading, and had a tear.

 

— **Fuck** , hold on — I said, grabbing the bone that was crossing her, she leaned on my arms — 1... 2... — I pulled it out, splashing blood on the ground, she released a grunt of pain mixed with a muffled scream, I brought her soul, a red heart, to check.

 

She had 3 HP, and dropping.

 

 —Frisk, look at me — I put the save-star on her hand, her breathing getting slower — you need to save, _right now_ — she was trying to look at me, but I saw she was failing, almost passing out — right now sweetie, **please** — I begged, probably for the first time in my life.

 

Her hands could barely hold the save-star, even with my help.

 

2 HP.

 

—Fuck Frisk c’mon! — she coughed, more blood — babe, c’mon... — I brought her face back, touching our foreheads and holding her hair away — **C’MON**!

 

1 HP.

 

That’s it, she’ll reset. I’ve killed her. _Again_.

 

I sighed, kissing her lips, even with the taste of blood. Her last save was right here anyways, with me... then I heard the “ _SAVE_ ” sound, and the taste of blood started to disappear, her hands releasing the save-star and dragging to my neck, **she saved**... thank god she saved. I brought her closer, hugging her from the waist, almost desperately, intensifying our kiss until we ran out of air, I was so fucking scared of opening my eyes, but when I did I saw hers, still closed, catching her breath again, she was okay.

 

HP fully restored.

 

I relaxed, leaning against the wall and bringing her with me. I pulled her legs so she was sitting on my lap and hold her, smelling her hair that still had some traces of blood, her shirt was still completely red. Her arms rested on my chest as she leaned her head on my shoulder, I was... so relieved she saved, but I was still recovering from the fright.

 

—I’m sorry — she said.

 

Like it was her fucking fault. Can you believe this girl?

 

—You scared the crap out of me, why didn’t you save right away?

 

She kept silent.

 

—What happened? — was the “answer” she gave me.

—I... had a nightmare... — I sighed — this kinda shit happened before, but it was never a problem. I usually sleep at my work hours, this became a form of protection. I lowered my guard for a second... and... — silence — _I'm sorry_.

 

She kept quiet for a couple seconds.

 

—It’s okay.

—No Frisk, **it’s not** — I got mad, more to myself —I almost killed you back there, you know that?

—Sans...

—I _mean_ it! You saved my fucking life this morning and I almost killed you as a _sleep-walking piece of shit!_ You shouldn’t be okay with that! — I was almost yelling — and don’t come with the shit abut reseting and how none of us is actually capable of killing you, cause I know it still hurts like fucking shit.

—For a second... I thought it wasn’t you...

 

Silence.

 

—What?

—Your magic... your eye was blue.

 

Oh.

 

—No, it’s still me — she gazed me, confused — blue’s the original color.

—I always saw you using it red...

—I know... it’s not blue for a long time, I guess when I'm sleeping it goes back to original.

—Why is it red then? — she looked at me.

 

I almost killed her, and she’s curious about the magic I used for it.

 

—Collateral effect.

 

She blinked, deciding not to go so far on questions anymore.

 

—Why didn’t you save right away? — I brought my own question back, she remained silent for a while — I know you were bewildered, but-

—I couldn’t — she interrupted —I tried, but failed — I looked at her, but she wasn’t looking back — I don’t know why.

 

... but I think I know why.

 

—What were you thinking?

—What? — she stared me.

—What were in your mind, what were you thinking?

—Nothing... I guess...

—And what were you thinking when you saved?

—Nothing as well, but... you kissed me, even if I was... _dying_ , even with the blood... I felt-

— _Determined_... you can’t save if you’re not determined to do so.

 

I started stroking her hair, that made sense after all, but as I'm unable to save, I don’t really know how it works, it was just an assumption I made until today. I kissed her forehead, keeping my lips there as she rested from all of that. I looked at her, and even though all the bruises and everything were gone and she was okay, her clothes were a disaster.

 

—We need to get you clean before going back, the flower will freak out if he sees you like this.

 

She giggled, even though she knew it was true.

 

—I think we can drop it to clean with magic on my house after Papyrus goes to bed, and while it washes we can get you a Grillby’s dinner, what you say?

—Sounds like a plan — she was smiling.

 

Damn girl.

I stopped containing myself and kissed her eagerly, grabbing firmly her legs that were in my lap, her fists closed on my jacket, pulling me. My head started spinning with the taste of her lips and her smell, even with the scent of blood I could still perceive. My hand traveled to her hip, fingers a bit under her shirt as she adjusted herself in front of me, kneeling. I could feel I was losing my breath, but I decided not to care, her hands dragged around my neck as I hugged her from the waist, covering as much as I could of her skin underneath her stripped-covered-in-blood shirt, holding her firmly, her hand also adventured underneath my sweater, the other one hold me by the neck, firmly, pressing my scarf.

I could feel her fingers slipping slowly on my back, discovering my vertebrae spine, and then she separated us, slowly, panting; and even if I don’t want to, I let her do it. We kept the foreheads touching ‘tho.

I left a small gasp mixed with a chuckle, backing off my hands and taking her hair out the way.

 

—Sorry... I... — she blushed — got... carried away.

 

Damn girl.

 

—Nah, we both got — I stroked her cheeks — I hate this power you have over me — she arched an eyebrow, confused. But I kept silent.

—What power? — she insisted.

—Not telling ‘ya doll, sorry, you’ll use it on purpose if I do.

 

She giggled, resting on my shoulder again as I checked the time on the cellphone.

 

Look at this girl, less than an hour ago she was almost dead because of me, now she makes everything seem like it’s alright.

She almost makes me believe it’s alright.


	19. internal world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I. AM. VERY. SORRY  
> (okay, read it and then see my excuses)

We kept the silence until I heard her stomach grunt, she blushed hiding her face on my jacket, but I couldn’t contain my laugh. That’s my fault ‘tho; I showed up, she gave _me_ food, and I teleported us, as I did not want to argue about all the circumstances with Napstablook there. I didn’t even brought her backpack or any food, and it’s already 5pm, I made her starve the whole day and almost killed her.

 

—Ok, let me see — I said, taking my phone.

—What you’re doing?

—Checking my dimensional box, maybe there’s something there for ‘ya doll.

—Can I do it on mine? I have a spider donut on those boxes.

—Nah, the one I gave you is old, also... You really eat that stuff?

—Yeah...?

—Ok, promise right now you won’t, ever again — she was looking at me — promise.

—I do, why?

—It’s disgusting I won’t kiss you if you do — I said with a smirk, she gave me a kiss.

 

Frisk, always doing her way aroung.

The little box appeared like a hologram from the phone with a list of all the things I had there. Basically on the A box I had a bunch of bullshit — my trombone, a pack of cards, 4 bottles of mustard (that made me happy), a couple socks and a pair of pink slippers, she laugh at those; B box had a couple of hot dogs and hot cats, the type I used to sell on Hotland, I barely step there anymore. I took one for her, she smiled at me.

She leaned her back on my chest, stretching her legs in front of me and eating the hot dog. I smelled her hair again, I could still feel the scent of blood, but it was so easy for me to get lost on her, at all — her perfume, her smile, her lips, her eyes, her curves. I enlaced her, holding my own hands in front of her belly, she had already finished her hot dog, but I was sinking my head on her shoulder and she kept still, stretching her head on my shoulder as well, looking the roof.

 

—Why did you come?

—Hm?— she muttered, not looking at me.

—What made you come to this hellish place? I don’t know the outside.

—Oh... it’s a mountain. This whole world is... under... or inside it, I'm not sure.

—Yeah? I didn’t know it.

—Yea — she had a smile — I did not expect this all though, your whole world, snow, flowers... seems unbelievable.

—A mountains seem unbelievable for me, such an enormous mass of earth, dirt and rocks pointing to an infinite sky?

—The underground isn’t that small to fit inside a mountain. I don’t think I fell from a height so high... I was almost at the top, I would be dead, so I think at least a big part of all this is inside the mountain, maybe the rest is magic, I can’t understand.

—It must be beautiful.

—It is... — the smile became sad — you’ll like it.

 

There she comes, assuming we’ll both leave.

 

—You still did not tell me why you came.

 

She kept silent for a while, looking at the roof.

Maybe it was too much, or too soon?

 

—I have a telescope and some books about physics and shit, they’re all from your world.

—Yea? — her smile was back — you like it?

—Yea, I like the study, the science and idea of... infinite. I wonder about all that... stars, the sun, clouds and the sky... never saw such a thing... — I left a sad giggle — I never left this hellish hole and I wonder about outer space, where not even much humans had been before. Foolish, uh?

—It’s not... It’s nice... — I gave her a smile, she had one on her face as well — where did you get all this things?

—Garbage? There are a lot of things that come from the human world somehow, most of it is actually garbage, but there’s always a thing or another we can still use, or fix, or sell in some cases, mad scientist gets a lot of her shit from there too.

—Who is mad scientist?

 

Oh, well...

 

—A problem I hope we don’t need to deal with.

—Oh...

—She’s the one who puts cameras everywhere too, I trashed most of her shit on Snowdin, but I’m not sure where does she have eyes here in Waterfall. I do know her eyes are absolutely every-fucking-where in Hotland.

—I wanted to see more... of this world.

 

Yea, I know what you mean.

 

—I want to show you a couple nice places, but two almost-deaths are enough for a day, so let’s take it easy for today, ok?

—Don’t worry, I'm not in a hurry.

 

I know a couple reasons why she made this comment — the need of another soul, the whole underground looking for her, the wish of not keeping dying every couple hours, the lack of a proper plan; but truth been said, it’s not all, I lived long enough to know when someone is running away from a problem, a situation or whatever, to know when someone has a baggage on their past. Fuck, I'm one of them. She never thought the underground would be worse ‘tho.

I'm actually scared it may not be.

 

—Why are skeletons weak? — I started again — they have _no muscles_ — she laugh.

—How do you think about this kind of stuff?

—Why can’t skeletons play church music?

—I don’t know, why?

—We have _no organs_. Why are skeletons so calm?

—They’re not — she was smiling, I arched an eyebrow for her anyways.

—We are! — she was still laughing — ‘Cause nothing gets _under our skin_. What’s a skeleton favorite musical instrument?

—Trom _bone_! — she said, right away.

 

I smiled.

 

—My girl — she had a smile as well.

—I actually saw a trombone on your box.

—My girl is a little cheater.

 

She turned to face me with a smile on her lips, I was still messing with her, cheering this day a bit, even though this day was a perfect mix of a terrible day and the best I had so far; but she interrupted it, kissing me, she still had the smile on her lips, that somehow just made it taste better for me. It’s hard to think she does not know the effect she has on me, my hands that were lost on her back clenched the fists, grabbing her shirt firmly, suddenly. She separated us slowly, not wanting to get carried away like before, what gets my disapproval; I don’t mind getting carried away with you, Frisk.

But I respected, and she kept our foreheads, looking at my eyes.

Somehow I'm totally the opposite of what I’ve been learning to be all those years, with her. I care about every detail on my girl. I care she’s hungry, I care her suffering, I care her life, what she likes, what she were before this, I care about her safety, fuck I even care if she’s happy or not, if she has a smile or not. I stroked her hair as she sat down again, looking at me, a bit confused — probably wondering what I'm even thinking about.

 

—I think we can go — I said, looking at my cell phone — Papyrus is home. I’ll... see how he is... keep the acting.

—You don’t need to do it.

—Oh, I do. He’ll keep inspecting my room if he’s not sure where I am — I sighed — he thinks I'm his property or something. But I’ll keep you out of attention, and while I talk to him you can get these clothes of yours ready to wash.

—I don’t want him to mistreat you.

 

She looked at me really concerned, and to be real I really didn’t want her to even hear what could happen. But I'm not willing to leave her alone here.

 

—I’ll be okay.

 

I promised.

 

I hate making promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did you guys liked it? 
> 
> so... I have 0 excuses, I was studying and I have a job now so it's been really hard to keep track on my life...  
> and I kinda felt... discourage about going on with this story, I'll try to not delay chapters again but...  
> well...  
> let's not make promises.
> 
>  
> 
> see ya guys.


	20. fire under the door

_Frisk’s POV_

 

He teleported us to his room and turned on a flashlight that was glued on a lamp. That’s his type of laziness, I laugh without making any sound. I analysed my shirt, unsure it could be saved, there were too much blood and it had already dried out, I almost took it out when I remembered I wasn’t alone. He was looking at me, arching and eyebrow.

 

—I was checking what I could offer you to wear but you can go ahead.

—No thanks — I smiled with a burning sensation in my face and he was again checking the drawer.

—I don’t have anything for you to change your shorts ‘tho.

—Do you have a shirt big enough? — I checked with him.

 

He took a huge white sweater that we were both sure goes until my knees. He kept searching as I was analyzing it, was good enough for me. I saw he had a lab coat, but he passed through it like it wasn’t even there, and I decided not to ask. He said he liked science things, but I wonder if he ever worked on a lab. He does call someone mad scientist, so I consider there is a lab on the underground. He closed the drawer, opening another.

 

—Don’t worry, this one will do it — I told him.

—Ok then — he said, closing it again— stay here, take off what you think needs a wash, I’ll check on Papyrus, be back as soon as possible, keep silent, I’ll leave the magic so no one can come inside.

—Ok... — I said, he tried a smile turning his back on me— h-hey — he looked at me.

 

I walked towards him, giving him a little kiss on the cheeks.

 

—Be careful, ok?

 

He smiled, for real this time, and vanished.

 

 

 

I started taking of my shirt, almost totally blood-red, when I heard Sans opening the front door of the house downstairs, then I heard Papyrus screaming at him, huffing him and scolding him for being weak and disappearing the whole day; my bra was as blooded as my shirt and my shorts were pretty bloody as well, I took both off. Papyrus was now screaming how much he almost killed Sans, that it was _too easy_ , that Sans _should be dead_. My tights and underwear seemed ok, my boots too, my hair had dried blood though.

Then, Sans shouted back.

 

That’s when the fray actually began, and I knew they were fighting.

 

I put on his shirt and adjusted the sleeves, folding it to be at my elbow; I heard crashes downstairs... I wanted so much to go there, defend him somehow, or just do something at all that... could help, but what could I possibly do? I don’t even... **fight**. I was 3 steps away from the door when they got silent, _it was killing me_. Papyrus screamed how much of a coward Sans was when I saw Sans opening and slamming the door again. He passed by me and seated on the mattress.

I ran towards him, he had a small injury close to his left eye.

 

Papyrus punched the door suddenly, and I gave a small jump-scare as Sans held my arm and pulled me closer to him, I got down on my knees and embraced him as well. I was scared, but he was **protective**. He hugged me, keeping my head on his shoulder, holding me firm. Every time I heard the door I trembled, Papyrus was howling his name...

And we kept like that for about 2 hours.

Still, static, quiet.

 

Until Papyrus got tired.

 

 

—We gotta do something ‘bout your hair doll.

—I'm pretty sure taking a shower here isn’t a good idea.

 

He got up as I stayed sited on the mattress, he took my bloody-clothes on the ground and vanished on thin air, 2 to 3 minutes later he was back with a bucket of water and a small towel. I got out the mattress and took the towel, the water was warm enough as well. I started cleaning my hair. He just kept seated on the ground, silent. I cleaned my hair the best I could, until the water came out my hair without being red-painted. He then brushed it with his bony-fingers. I kept still, he was... so serious.

 

—You’re okay?

—Yea, I'm fine.

 

...

 

—Sans...

—Hm? — I wanted to ask about Papyrus, about his life, about all the things he deals with.

—Is it clean now? — I shake my hair closer to him, he avoids the small water-drops, but gives me a smile. He pulled me from the head, his fingers mixing with the locks, and drowning his face on my hair, smelling it before dragging his forehead and gaze to meet mine.

—It doesn’t smell like blood anymore. Good enough for me.

 

I remained silent, I was... getting lost on his eyes shining on this cold light. I want him, and as much as we did get carried away back there, I do feel like I want it with him, at the same time it feels wrong somewhat, and I don’t know why: if it’s because he killed me a couple times already, or because he’s a monster, or because besides being a monster, he’s a skeleton, and I’ve lived enough to understand how I’ll look like when I die and rotten. I’ve seen more skeletons than I’d like to. Sans and Papyrus are different from humans skeleton’s though, they have some kind of... face, they blink and smile and... kiss...

All skeletons I’ve seen were just... remains of a destroyed body.

Even in life their eyes didn’t shine as bright as Sans’ do.

 

He closed the eyes, hypnotically making me close mine as he kissed me, it did not last long.

 

—Grillby? — he asked, winking at me.

—On your tab.

 

He pulled me from the waist and teleported both of us. In a blink, we were inside Grillby’s place, it was empty other than Grillby himself on the counter, cleaning. Sans gestured me to the table, the same table we saw the dogs on the first times I came here. Now it was empty. I sited there, as he talked to a Grillby that did not seem too impressed I was here. Grillby just agreed and gave Sans a candle, lighting it first. Sans arched an eyebrow as he came to sit beside me, putting the candle on the table.

We had the whole table — full of cards and with a single candle; but he sat right beside me, pushing my chair closer and kissing me on the cheek. Grillby wasn’t there to see it.

 

—I asked burger and fries for both of us, and a soda for you.

—I don’t like soda, but I’ll make this exception.

—I imagined you don’t, but Grillby does not touch water.

—Oh.

 

I never realized how much sense it made.

 

—I also asked ketchup for ‘ya. I’ll be fine with my mustard.

—Not like you don’t have another couple bottles of it in the box?

—Those one are for emergency cases.

 

I laugh as Grillby came back, putting our meal in the table. His flames burned brighter as I thanked him and he was gone back to the counter, turning of half the restaurant lights. I ate my food, putting ketchup on the fries and burger. Oh I missed Grillby’s food, it’s the best I had on the underground. I was drinking the soda when I realized that Sans had already finished and was just drinking the mustard with a vague gaze.

 

The injury on his left eye was still there.

 

As good as Grillby’s food is, I don’t think it uses magic.

It doesn’t heal.


End file.
